karatetentacles

Remember you live in a country that allows you to say you hate it.

Remember you live in a country where you can blog, where you have internet access, where you can access information.

Remember you live in a country where you can participate in the legal process.

Remember you live in a country that millions -- billions -- dream about. Remember you have opportunities some people can't even begin to imagine.

Remember you live in a country where people can stand up for themselves: African Americans, women, now gays.

Remember you live in an "experiment." It's a process, and it has been working, and we'll get there. To that idealized land of opportunity and freedom and justice for all; where the rights of the Constitution will be applied fairly and justly and rightly; where bigots don't exist and equality is all around.

Remember that for all its flaws, there is someone out there trying to reform your country.

The complete guide to making everything as awkward as possible! Anyone can do it! All you need:

-- a high school
-- a lunch table with other people
-- a phone
-- a disappointing glare
-- inborn awkwardness!

1) Find a table in your high school's cafeteria that's already occupied. It's better if you recognize some of the people, so they have some idea who you are (trust me, it makes it even more awkward).

2) Listen to the friends at the table exchange tales of fancy and Friday night fiascoes. Don't ever enter the conversation. Act aloof, text, put on headphones without music playing, but always be listening and retaining information.

3) After each story, make a disappointing glare at the story's teller.

4) If the teller is looking around the table and makes eye contact with everyone at the table, wait until (s)he sees you and break the connection.

5) Look immediately at your lap, pull up your phone, and send a text to anyone. Make sure you have a sly grin on your face; that way the teller will think you are talking about him/her.

-- Mom walks in my room to wake me up.
-- Groan and go to sleep an extra 5-10 minutes.
-- Wake up, get dressed, pee, brush teeth.
-- Pack my backpack, put on shoes, walk downstairs, go to class.
-- School, where I sit and I learn and I absorb and I try to get those meaningless points to get that pointless A. Figure I don't really have to try that hard to get a B, that an 89.4 looks the same as a 79.5 once report cards come out, zone out for whatever the teacher's talking about.
-- Focus what little energy I have into stuff I actually care about: newspaper, FreeLancer, reading the books for English, AHAP, occasionally calculus, the rare chemistry worksheet.
-- Stay after school usually until 3:30, sometimes later.
-- Go home, nap, talk to people on skype, eat something, internet.
-- Homework.
-- Talk to people on skype
-- More homework.
-- More talking.
-- Sleep at 12:34.

me: oh um it's like... like you do something SO AWESOME and cool that people remember it for a long time. like if I won the lottery, I would be a legend.
clara: what's a good sentence for that word?
me: uhm uhh uhhhhhh
clara: *starts to walk away*
me: wait wait! you watch How I Met Your Mother, right?
clara: yeah
me: you know how barney says "legen wait for it dary?" and whatever happens next is going to be cool and memorable?
clara: oh I get it now!!
me: relating a second grader's spelling list to television. Welcome to 2010.

cough cough cough cough ow my head *blows nose* cough cough *blows nose* cough owww my head cough cough cough *blows nose* *blows nose* cough *blows nose*

what is that
that freaky thing
yes that's right it's a naked mole rat. ;)

so stressed, guys. if you care:

1) FreeLancer, the literary magazine of which I am a co-editor, is falling apart and I'm watching the pieces break. We're broke, have no submissions for the new issue, and interest is fading fast. Maaaah.

2) Can Drive is draining all my energy. So much work. So much stress.

3) Homework. Oh geez so much. Studying for calculus and reading entire chapters of American History in one night and having to read Grapes of Wrath and the Scarlet Letter and an "outside reading book" and a surprise Spanish test

4) I feel like I should be trying to keep up with my social life, or even my URL life, but I'm just not, and I'm ok with that, but I feel guilty not talking to people and stuff.

5) My phone was dead for almost a week before I got a new charger which really was not good because I felt bad enough not talking to people and so I was out of touch with a lot of people for a while which was not fun. Also it made it harder to manage my committee in StuCo.

6) I'd really, really, really like to have the ability to drive but I just have no time.

7) Mondays are always especially stressful. I get a lot of homework assigned those days and I volunteer at the library so after that I'm exhausted and have exaggerated amounts of work to do. /:

8) My room is still a fucking DISASTER. I need to clean it. I know it'll help clear my mind but I just... PRIORITIES. THEY SUCK.

The only thing keeping me sane is, ironically, NaNoWriMo. It's going pretty well. Need to get my count in for today. I'll do that now, actually.

Hope you enjoyed another episode of "Katy is a whiny pansyass."

1. woke up
2. went back to sleep
3. was woken up by mother, who asked if I was going to school.
4. didn't go to school.
5. slept.
6. woke up.
7. checked internet.
8. looked at homework.
9. internet.
10. read Grapes of Wrath.
11. made soup.
12. watched the Big Bang Theory.
13. ... internet, I think?
14. more Grapes of Wrath
15. contemplated sleeping.
16. watched Eastwick.
17. watched jpmetz.

currently: contemplating sleeping
watching jpmetz
contemplating doing calc and ahap homework.

1. I have not been on the internet since 5 this morning.
2. I tried to conserve the battery on my phone by trying to text as little as possible past 3pm. It just died.
3. My friend saw a silvery white hair on my scalp at lunch. I was baffled and perplexed.
4. I've started to read Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life.
5. I'm currently composing an email to the author, Amy K. Rosenthal.
6. I'm not watching HIMYM and instead am "doing homework" which translates to "chatting on skype and also reading my book."

grrrrr.
I hate you all.

I've been you know busy and stuff and I have so much to do and I have to do a lot of stuff tomorrow and I don't want to and now I just have to go to bed but I'm all stressed but SOOOOOOOOO tired and yeah.

falling in love
falling in love
falling in love
with Hermione Granger

yup yup yup.

so basically today I was with my girl Darci and a bunch of her friends and it was fun and they were all really cool so I had a lot of fun and ate yummy food and wasn't bored even for a second even though we were with each other for so long and yeah that was awesome.

unfortunately I didn't get much done on the summer homework front, when my due date is drawing ever near as the thought of school is looming over my head... yikes!

I may or may not have a crush I'm not saying anything so don't try and get it out of me OK?!

and so tomorrow/today I'm going to Worlds of Fun (an amusement park with fun rides and stuff) so there goes MY day... I mean it'll be fun (WORLDS of fun haha) but still I need to get SHIT DONE YO.

and you all with your late night skype calls and me going on blogtv for no reason and bookworm videos to film jeez I'm not amazing I'm gonna be SO TIRED before school even starts!

just joshing I'll be just fine.

SHIT I never called Kyle like I said I would aww now I feel bad alright I'm going to bed love you.

this ramble of a blog is ridiculous and I apologize.

I had woken up prematurely in order to go to work at the nursery with a bunch of squealing, baby children who like to steal toys and whine and make me play with legos. Of course, I was not excited. I didn't have enough time to brush my teeth, and my retainer, Waldo, felt gross, so I took him out of my mouth and left him.

Upon returning home, smelling of stale cheerios and teen angst, I trudge my aching body upstairs and collapse in my bed. There's a pain in my upper thigh, and at first I'm too tired to care. Then I decide that there must be something under my thigh (my bed is the home of several shirts, dresses, books, gum wrappers, a pay check, a dollar, and poptarts wrappers), and it turns out to be Waldo. I push him out from under my thigh, pull up the covers, and fall asleep.

Upon waking up, I fling the blanket off myself, unaware of the time or where I am. Disoriented and still exhausted, I hear a "clunk!" and discover Waldo MISSING.

Still exhausted, I'm too tired to care about the missing Waldo and trudge downstairs. I eat or something. I dance or something. I watch TV or something. Hard to say for sure, but eventually I walk back upstairs and realize, "Fuck. I don't have Waldo."

There is no conclusion for this blog, as Waldo is still lost, somewhere in my room. Perhaps he was eaten by my pillows. Maybe the rats under my bed decided to take it as their captive until I fulfill their ridiculous demands (they want an 24 hour all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet, and also all the pigeons to return to their rightful place on land. Either that or they want to have wings... yeah right, you filthy rats). I'm not sure where he is. I can only hope he's safe, waiting for the reunion with my mouth...

--------

This has been my 100th blog post. Now I'm going to look for Waldo.

Katy: ZOMG PSYCH SEASON 3 IS OUT TODAY.
Wallet: ...
Katy: WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
Wallet: No.
Katy: BUT I NEEEEEEED IT!
Wallet: No. No you don't.
Katy: WHAT ABOUT SEASON 1 AND SEASON 2?!
Wallet: Definitely no. You need to save up for the Office season 5.
Katy: BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT.
Wallet: Also, you want a car, right?
Katy: Well, yeah...
Wallet: And you want LeakyCon 2011... and college... and you like buying books A LOT...
Katy: Yes, I do... Where are you going with all this?
Wallet: Look, you like doing and owning expensive things. Psych isn't in the budget right now--
Katy: WHAT BUDGET. I have, like, six hundred bucks!
Wallet: Plane tickets cost money. And you want to go to college, right?
Katy: Why are you so mean to me?
Wallet: I'm just logical.

grrrr.

opinion piece -- online journalism "practice" writing.

George Washington Carver - scientist, botanist, educator, and inventor - is famed for his many discoveries involving that useful little nut we've grown accustomed to: the peanut. Peanuts are high in protein, the "good kind" of fat, and are just generally tasty. Though sometimes they can leave that feeling in your mouth - the one leaving you salivating, with a need for water or a nice soda, - it seems the general opinion is that peanuts are awesome.

There are some, however, who don't find peanuts quite so "awesome."

There are those who are allergic, those who are still worked up over the peanut butter salmonella scare and those who find the choleric intake too much to handle. Being allergic is one thing, but the other two claims are ridiculous. If we, as a human species, were to be perpetually afraid of every product ever infected by salmonella, we'd have nothing left to eat! Well, nothing delicious, anyway.

Personally, I am a big fan of peanuts. Writing this article makes me hungry for a big jar of peanut butter and a spoon - no other products necessary. And peanuts are the perfect snack food, according to four people at bestuff.com.

And another great thing about peanut butter? Pine Cone Bird Feeders! Endless entertainment, and it costs practically nothing.

So whether you're looking for a tasty snack or some great fun, peanuts and their byproducts (most of which were invented by George Washington Carver) are great things to consider.

Seriously. What is this nonsense. I'm BUSY. I have a LIFE. I hate this.

Today:
Darci-time. (10:30-3ish?)
Work. (4:30-11)
Skype PAR-TAY! (no sleep)

Saturday:
Sleep late.
Work (4:30-11)
Cousin's birthday party

Sunday:
Movie with Kaiha. (1:30-3:30?)
Work (4:30-11)

Monday:
Mom's birthday; we're seeing Up.
Pack for camp

Tuesday-next Saturday:
camp

Sigh. No internets for those days I'm at camp. I'll live, right? I probably won't have twitter 24/7, but I'll be able to check them at night and during breaks and what not. Text me and I'll try to text you back. Send me care packages!! If you want the address, e-mail me:
karatetentacles@gmail.com

I'm making my packing lists now. Gotta get ready to rock the night morning/early afternoon away with Dar. ;)

1) Nine hour shift at work? LULZ it was actually OK. I built it up to be so awful and traumatizing in my head, but it really wasn't that bad. It was an OK night overall.

2) HP the Musical. Just... youtube-it if you haven't seen it. Worth every hour.

3) NO MOAR BRACEFACE ZOMG AWESOMESAUCE. I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY.

4) Listening to Zefron sing High School Musical songs... shush, I'm allowed. Soarin, flying...

5) An Awful Lot of Running music video

6) You Shall Know Our Velocity!, which I am currently reading.

7) Not having braces. That just feels so awesome.

8) Ministry of Magic. They make my jubilant mood even better (:

kaydone.

Alright, so I have this shirt.

This shirt allows me to manipulate the sudden, random, and extremely consequential physical shifts in the universe in my favor. In some complicated, unscientific manner, I can, by channeling the power of this shirt, reap the benefits of the cosmos. It's awesome.

Some might call this a "Lucky Shirt." But no, I don't believe in luck. I believe in sudden, random, and extremely consequential shifts in the physical universe.

I've decided that the source of all this "luck," this portal to my manipulation, can be traced to the Hallows and Horcruxes Ball 2009. I'm sure you've all read that blog post, about how awesome my night was and all. I was wearing this shirt. And I think all that Awesome allows me to harness the powers of the Cosmos.

Anyway.

I've been looking through my old journal. Actually it's not that old, just a year, and it's just now filled up. My earliest entries express the same thoughts I have today:
"What's sexy about saliva?"
"wordswordswords... and that's why I hate gym class."
"Question: How did Jell-O get popular and why did they move into pudding territory?"
"My bladder is full, but I refuse to pee."
"Is it bad that I remember which way is east because of the term 'East Coast?'"

Just a sample.

I feel awkward posting my writings up on the internet. I have no problem sharing the innards of my deepest, angsty, personal moments with the internet, but there's something so much different about my writing. I think it's obvious of what I'm more embarrassed. I think it's because I know that my feelings aren't unique, but I'd like to think the words that I put on a page are unique, and posting them puts them up to scrutiny, but that's my soul, that's where I live; in the pages of my notebook(s), in the post-its on my wall.

Anyway, enough of my inner-workings. Maybe gonna film a video I've been wanting to do. I have a few other rambles that I should write out, but I won't.

Seven hour shift. Starting at 10, going 'til 5. I'm tiiiiiiired. I don't wake up this early... :P

Have another video idea. I'm gonna try to hold off on posting it until next week sometime... you know, because I've been making too many videos and it's WEIRD.

Actually I have a few video ideas in my arsenal. So hopefully my Tubage Channel will BE NICE AND FUN. And I won't do too many vloggy-things, unless the Bookworm channel

Facebook usernames? GOTTA THINK GOTTA THINK GOTTA THINK...

The old favorite, ktentacles?
My actual name, katywesthoff?
Should I go with the period: katy.westhoff?
Do I want CAPS?! KATY.WESTHOFF.
Oooh the double period. I don't think they'll let me do that.
Take the immature route and do penis?
Sinep?
Pinus?

I JUST DON'T KNOW!

My toes feel funny. I'm gonna get ready for work now. The facebook username thing will be there when I get home.

ZOMG SKYPE MADE A FUNNY NOISE... who the hell is "erlyn merl"? Why do they want to be on my contacts?

BLOCKED.

Kay getting ready for work FO REAL.

When it's dark and rainy outside, I feel better about sleeping late.

I took the first steps into Permanent Summer Hibernation by turning off my alarm clock. Now my only sense of time occurs when I wake up enough to look at my phone/open Darth (the Macbook). My only sense of the day of the week is my obsessive checking of my webcomics. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday is CAD, then Tuesday and Thursday is Buttersafe! (Those are the only two that update on a schedule. Others update like my blog; randomly, sometimes daily, but still regularly.)

Noises of the moment:
THUNDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Count the Shadows.
Dog barking.
Small children laughing.
MOAR THUNDERRRR.

Also, kid I was mostly talking to in that last (somewhat embarrassing) blogpost isn't leaving me alone. :P life.

Back me up here, blogreaders. This is tacky, right?



That's all I got. Gonna maybe start some summer homework... eeh.

I really wish my phone got service in my basement. I like to feel secluded, but sometimes someone *coughcough* will text me, and I enjoy that.

Also it would make receiving phone calls easier.

Earlier today:

-phone rings, unidentified number-
Me: Hello?
Them: -static-
Me: I can't hear you, one sec.
Them: -static-
Me: -goes upstairs- Hello?
Them: -static-
Me: Fffffff what is wrong with this house?! I get service NOWHERE!
Them: -static-

I called back five minutes later. Wrong number. Fffffffff.

Anyway. It's almost midnight. I'm gonna watch Ratatouille. I think I'll go up to my room and watch it on Darth, and hopefully have cell phone service. Also I have to go to Target tomorrow to get some shorts and a lock. My mom keeps bugging my ass about my lack of social life. I'm sorry, mom, I don't like hanging out with people. People bother me. I like hanging out in small groups, maybe one or two other people with me, not huge groups like everyone else, so it makes things awkward when I pull a certain person out of said group to enjoy a nice afternoon of just hanging out.

It's not my fault I'm socially retarded and seclude myself from every event. I like it better that way. Also I dislike being wet, so swimming is a no.

So I'm reading How We Are Hungry* by Dave Eggers. It's a gorgeous book, prose-wise, and it's so... depressing, almost. I don't want to spoil anything, but there's this one story (it's a collection of short(ish) stories) about this woman who goes on vacation. The really, really sad thing is that she goes on vacation to "get away," yet is able to perfectly predict everything that is going to happen. It's so sad.

And you know what I fucking hate? When people say I read into books/movies too much. Trust me, it's there to "read into." Authors are deep, they don't just throw shit on the page and sell it. Ffffff people are stupid and need to realize that just because you're not reading in/for a class doesn't mean the book is just an assortment of words on a page, and that there are still tones and themes and diction and metaphors and symbols to look at.

Anyway. I really love this book, despite it's sadness. I'm gonna try and finish it soon, less than 100 pages to go! (I think it's somewhere around 70 pages.)

Soooo off to Ratatouille. Sorry for this incredibly random/somewhat long blog post.

*Speaking of hungry... I'm gonna make some cheesecake soon. ... and I'm about to watch a movie about a rat chef. WTF METAPHORICAL HUNGER. LEAVE ME ALONE!

I've abandoned watching Season 3 of the Office. It's far too saddening. I thought I could get through it by watching Season 4 first, knowing Jim and Pam are together and happy, but it's just so... sad. It's one of the darkest seasons, I think. You see Jan's full devolution into the mess she is in the fourth season. Dwangela is the only high-point.

Also, Karen is a bitch.

Although there are some very choice Andy-moments.

Anyway. I'm watching Psych now. Season 1. Yusssss. Thank you Jennifer. I'm kind of in love with Shawn Spencer. And by kind of I mean completely and totally in love with him. Sigh. Damn Fictional-Characters-are-way-too-Awesome-thus-I-fall-for-them disease. Mmmm.

My basement is too cozy. My parents keep trying to evict me, but whatever. My room is clean. It's just... nice down here. I can watch TV. I get internet access. I created a little niche in the couch so it's very cozy so I can read a book with the most ease. I'm even nicer to my cat for Christ's sake. Errbody knows I hate that thing.

Also there's the N-64... even though I can't find any games. I am playing Diddy Kong Racing a lot. Actually I just played it once so far. But I am going to be playing it a lot.

Still haven't started the summer homework. Except for the journalism stuff. Which isn't hard. Baaaah. I also have to do all this crap for this camp I'm going to... and it was due six or seven days ago... I haven't even looked at it. It's like health forms and crap. Baaaaaah. Do not want.

Anyway. Gonna watch some Psych and then read Why We Are Hungry by Dave Eggers, and ignore the world for a little bit longer.

I was going to blog about how frustrating it was trying to get the cherry at the bottom of my crushed ice, with no liquid left, in my cherry limeade... but right as I hit the "new blog" button and waited for the page to load, I managed to get the cherry. I then ate it. It was delicious.

Now I'm staring at the blankness (though not so blank anymore) and decided: I should still blog. I owe The People (what people?) a decent (or my definition of such) blog. So... here you go:

I went to Sonic, where I got the cherry limeade, and got a corndog. I believe that the corndog is the most delicious, perfect food there is.



(Skip to about... 50 seconds? It counts down and not up, just FYI.)

I don't think I could have said it better than Stanley here. Corndogs are delicious. Also, onion rings.

I have a lot of shit to dooooo. Summer homework is a real bummer.

First off, I have to "read selected chapters from Thoreau's Walden and McLean's A River Runs Through It. For both books, you will be expected to annotate and to maintain a double-entry quotation journal as you read. Be sure to read the instructions for annotation that follow. The annotation and the quotation journal for each book will be graded."

Sounds fun, right?

And of course there's all my American History AP (now forever known as AHAP; the teacher's name is Yoda) stuff, which I haven't even started looking at... it looks like a shitton. I'm not excited.

And on top of all that?

I'm gonna be on newspaper next year, as part of the developing online staff, so I'll have summer assignments spread throughout the year for that. First one's due Friday... I don't even know what it is.

Effing summer. With my job, and what I hope to accomplish with my social life, I'm hardly going to have any time at all to do what I usually do during the summer!

Which is to say: relax and do absolutely nothing. I'm also losing a lot of prime reading time. ): Hopefully I can keep up with the DFTBA Street Team assignments.

Also, hopefully I can beat up Malaise, my inner procrastinator. Yes, she has a name. I name a lot of people.

But Katy, your inner procrastinator isn't a person!

Shut up, angst.

Yeah, you name your procrastinator, but not your angst, who you actually HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH.

I SAID SHUT UP.

Will she ever go away? (My angst, I mean.)

I've been sick for the past two days. I've watched the entirety of the Office: Season 4. zomg I love that show. One of the only reasons I'm better anymore. (: Greg Daniels, I salute you.

I suppose I should write about my dream, and how I somehow convinced a race of highly intelligent aliens that humans were small brained and afraid of accepting anyone unique and individual, and that when I tried to stop them I only became more certain that they were right... but Angst might come back, so I'll just leave it at that.

Did you really just call me Angst?

Great, looks like she's back. Do you HAVE a name already?

Some call me Holden. Others call me Harry.

Ugh. You're a boy?

Yeah...

Eff. Alright... Holdarry... Harldon? ... Holdarry, I guess we'll go with. Wanna wrap this up?

Sure, I guess.

FICTIONPRESS LOVE POETRY LOLOLOL