HOW TO: Create a Socially Awkward Atmosphere
The complete guide to making everything as awkward as possible! Anyone can do it! All you need:
-- a high school
-- a lunch table with other people
-- a phone
-- a disappointing glare
-- inborn awkwardness!
1) Find a table in your high school's cafeteria that's already occupied. It's better if you recognize some of the people, so they have some idea who you are (trust me, it makes it even more awkward).
2) Listen to the friends at the table exchange tales of fancy and Friday night fiascoes. Don't ever enter the conversation. Act aloof, text, put on headphones without music playing, but always be listening and retaining information.
3) After each story, make a disappointing glare at the story's teller.
4) If the teller is looking around the table and makes eye contact with everyone at the table, wait until (s)he sees you and break the connection.
5) Look immediately at your lap, pull up your phone, and send a text to anyone. Make sure you have a sly grin on your face; that way the teller will think you are talking about him/her.
-- a high school
-- a lunch table with other people
-- a phone
-- a disappointing glare
-- inborn awkwardness!
1) Find a table in your high school's cafeteria that's already occupied. It's better if you recognize some of the people, so they have some idea who you are (trust me, it makes it even more awkward).
2) Listen to the friends at the table exchange tales of fancy and Friday night fiascoes. Don't ever enter the conversation. Act aloof, text, put on headphones without music playing, but always be listening and retaining information.
3) After each story, make a disappointing glare at the story's teller.
4) If the teller is looking around the table and makes eye contact with everyone at the table, wait until (s)he sees you and break the connection.
5) Look immediately at your lap, pull up your phone, and send a text to anyone. Make sure you have a sly grin on your face; that way the teller will think you are talking about him/her.
I can't, my school has cameras everywhere and they grab you with a giant metal claw when they catch you texting and then they send you to a place of horrible stuff.
Other than that, though, it seems like a good plan for awkwardness.
that's mean and horrible.
This is my life without even trying.