karatetentacles

Well.

I think I'm officially throwing in the towel for the 50 Books in a Year thing. I'm tired. I'm busy. But mostly I want to save the few I was going to read for 2010, when I'll try again; this time I'll do it.

I just got 100 subscribers on YouTube. I don't even care about subscribers. But when I saw the number hit 96, I thought, "Hmm. That's close to 100. I can get four more." And I did. Sure, a good 10 of them don't really "count" -- theselovelypeople, 7awesomebookworms, zefronnekkid... haha. But still.

It's been a weird year. It's been a weird decade. It's been a weird life. I'm proud of myself. I like the person I am. I came up with a few resolutions for myself in July.

I told myself I'd blog all year. Accomplished.
I told myself I'd win NaNoWriMo. Failed, but I'm not too upset with that.
I told myself I'd do "the usual." I've been trying to stop a few bad habits for a while now, but this year... well. Let's just say it'll be on next year's list.
I told myself I'd actually make youtube videos. Accomplished.

I'm telling myself:
the usual
to get my driver's license
to get a job
to get decent grades
to maintain my youtube channel
to write
to read 50 books (before Sierra)
to keep my room clean
to waste less time

I'm going to run for stuco executive board and I'm going to go to wizard rock concerts and I'm going to have money and I'm going to apply to college this year.
I'm going to be myself and love myself and love those around me this year.
I'm going to be happy.
I'm going to be happy this year.


if you're bored then you're boring

ignore the ugliness of my blog right now... I'm working on it :X

booklist:
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid

Now I'm going to start doing my summer-English-homework reading... bleh.

Also, resolutions I updated on twitter but not here:

9) Appreciate people. Let them know when something they've done has affected me. Say thanks for seemingly trivial things.
10) Give unasked advice.

I was talking to my friend Jennifer yesterday, reflecting on my camp experience, she reflected on her high school career and her camp experience from the previous year. She said something that really inspired me.

"I don't do 'big problems,' you know? I do little things. This past year, I made an effort to know everyone in StuCo. I would wave at the freshmen and make myself recognizable and known so that we, as a student body, would feel more connected and more like a 'club.'"*

Sometimes that's all anyone needs. Someone to reach out and make themselves available, and I know how cool I felt with her as one of my friends: exec board senior student council member. I mean, not everyone needs to tackle cancer or support the Invisible Children, and while those causes are amazing and admirable, what Jennifer was doing was just as beneficial, just on a smaller scale. So my eighth resolution mirrors hers:

8) Make an effort to get to know everyone in student council. Reach out to the freshman, offer my support and guidance to anyone who wants/needs it.

It's still hard for me to not be at camp, to not constantly talk about it; I can't even listen to my DFTBA Records Compilation album because the only thing I've been able to stand is the mix CD Kyle (one of my junior counselors) made for everyone.

*no, my memory isn't that good. I paraphrased pretty sufficiently. But I made her sound pretty awesome, amirite? <3

I'm not sure if I can make myself do a whole camp-run-down thing... it's just so hard to express everything I felt that week in just words, all the people I met in just words, all the things we did in just words. I could try, but everything we experienced is so intangible, and even if I explain it... I don't know. It's not the same, I guess.

Anyway. Here are a few resolutions I'm taking with me from camp:

1) Waking up early to squeeze as much out of a day as is possible.
2) Getting more involved in community service and volunteering.
3) Making sure everything I do has purpose and meaning.
4) "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who come alive." - Howard Thurman
5) Remaining in the same mindset as I was in camp.
6) Continuing to be a "stuco kid."
7) Keeping a positive, optimistic attitude, and trying to smile as much as possible.

----

"The people at camp are the role models of society - the genuinely good people. The people who wave to strangers on park benches and always say thank you to bus drivers and garbage men and flight attendants; who have passions and aspirations and want to change the world, or at least a small part of it. The ones who love deeply and honestly; who put their hearts into everything they do, who you can't help but like even after the stories of Friday night's party.

I can honestly say I grew so much as a person, that I'm less selfish and better prepared to take on the world. My goals seem tangible, intentional, and that I'm able to accomplish them."

-- camp journal reflections excerpt, from the plane, July 5th 2009