karatetentacles

blogging.

2011-03-06T11:07:00.001-08:00

i hate blogging while i'm doing it, but i actually really like going back and reading my old blogs. i don't know why. so i think i'm going to blog again.

things:

-- went to the hallows and horcruxes ball 4 last night. alex carpenter told me that "it was nice to see" me and that he was impressed that i stayed up by the front the entire time. i almost fainted. got a hug from jarrod. hugged matt and lauren for all of catitude. (: lost my voice pretty bad. talked to megan about boys and life. i love megan pavlu a lot.

-- i've had a job for six months. i know it's been six months because i started working around the same time that esther passed, and that she passed six months ago. sort of sad, but just a thing my mind does.

-- 73 days of high school left. 128 days until leakycon.

-- have to do my notes journal for hamlet/r and g are dead. i love rozencrantz and guildenstern. they rock. this notes journal thing? rocks a little less.

-- listening to one of the three cd's i made for the manhattan roadtrip for the h&h ball. hahaha. i called them "the wand," "the stone," and "the cloak." because i am the coolest person. currently listening to the stone.

-- so much converse at wizard rock concerts omg.

-- i'm really excited for college. for living in a dorm and going to class and meeting new people. it's kind of scary, but mostly exciting.

alright the end.

my eye itches

2010-09-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

beda? what's that.

shit's hit the fan and I'm just spinning round with it.

I dunno. I just feel all over the place. Everything is moving too fast. I can't even get caught up in the "oh that was my last Lancer Day!!" because I'm too busy worrying about reading Jane Eyre and making sure the FreeLancer will exist and working on my newspaper shit and guh. And then there's the things that are sad in my life like Esther and my alcoholic parents and my alcoholic student body.

OH ALSO I have a job. this is a good and a bad thing.

GOOD: I don't have to stress out about money anymore! It fills up time that I'd spend playing bloons anyway!
BAD: I wish I could spend that bloons-time doing homework or something...

Something cool: I was voted NHS president, which is nice. I was sort of sick of losing elections.

There are these people I want to be friends with and do things with but I don't want to come on too strong or be weird or anything. So I try and wait for invitations and try really hard not to invite myself to things and all that. But I dunno. I can't get a feel if it's a pity-invite or a hey-we-like-you-just-thought-in-the-past-you-wouldn't-be-interested-invite or anything. But I try not to overthink it and just go with it which is what everyone should do all the time.

Ugh sometimes I just make really good mix CDs that just are perfect for occasions.

I decided that instead of NaNoWriMo I'm going to create/do FOCAM: Fill Out College Applications Month. Fuck. FUCK! Erase college from my mind too much TOO MUCH. Welp added bonus of NHS president I'm pretty much a shoo-in for any college of my choosing. Just gotta pay for it ERASE ERASE ERASE TOO MUCH

I think I'm just gonna curl up and read Jane Eyre and sleep for a looooong time.

beda 18: school is the worst.

2010-08-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

I hate that the school doesn't give us planners until the 3rd day. I have lots of homework and lots of thing to worry about and no planner to tell me what to do. It's very distressing and stress-ful and just bad.

School, GIVE ME MY PLANNER NOW not at the end of tomorrow agh!!

School is exhausting. We've been having our 7 period days the past 2 days. They are so long and awful and I have so many books and papers and crap and I just want to curl up and bed and sleep. Which is what I did when I got home.

Homework load isn't too much yet. And it'll probably be really bad now, then eventually lighten up when it gets closer to graduation and the teachers realize that we don't care anymore. I barely care now. But I just gotta make it through the year and I'll be fine.

Now I get to worry about colleges and stuff yay!!! So I might go on some visits soon. Probably only a few -- KU and Grinnell and maybe Kenyon. No east coast or west coast schools for me! I might try University of Denver. And maybe, just maybe, I'll make a quest up to UNI to visit the school and MORGAN!! Morgan if you are reading this (probably not because you are busy with life) you should let me know when I should visit. I'll call you sometime ok ok.

Welp off to sleep. More fun awaits at school tomorrow~

beda 17: allow me to be angsty.

2010-08-17T19:32:00.000-07:00

Long day at school.

I'm sick of the feeling of my computer in my lap. I hate it. I don't like it at all. I hate getting too much sleep where I'm always tired and a little groggy and there's that gross taste in my mouth.

See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better see it feels bad now but it's gonna get better see it feels bad now but it's gonna get better someday.

Ok, Mr. Wakey!Wakey, I have made mistakes, I don't deny that. And yes, I want to stay in bed despite the light outside. Please stay right here, because I saved your life once, jerk.

Whatever. I have a headache and I'm upset at nothing and I'm just very dissatisfied with my life.

beda 16: last day.

2010-08-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

it's over it's over it's over.

QT drinks are full price and summer homework is due.

I have to wake up at 6.

I have to drive in the morning.

I have homework to do and responsibilities to take care of.

I have to see people I don't want to see necessarily. Not that I necessarily hate anyone or don't want to see anyone. But I don't get to choose the people I'm seeing in my classes. Oh well.

I made Mr. Royer a cheesecake. I missed him so much. I also missed Ms. Beachy. AND I MISS PULSINELLI SO MUCH. But I don't get to see him. *tear*

Shaved my legs in honor of the new school year. That's a thing right.

Soon I get to worry about college applications and teacher recommendations and deadlines and homework and due dates and money and shit.

But not right now. Right now, it's still summer. Technically.

blog 15: the end... almost.

2010-08-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks of summer have kind of been the worst. I mean, nothing horrible has happened, but everyone's been so busy, so I've been stuck at home instead of ~goin out with my friends.~ I like staying up late on skype with people, but being IRL is different and I like it and stuff. Being on the computer all day every day is just exhausting and gives me headaches and stuff. I'm sick of being inside and just watching movies all day but it's too hot to go outside and I hate the outside but being inside makes me hate the inside and UGH I'M JUST SO BORED ALL THE TIME.

I'm so nervous about school and all the stress that will come with it. I prefer wanting to do things over having to do things. With FreeLancer the first year, I didn't HAVE to do anything. I chose to. And now I've made myself responsible and stuff. And I HAVE to volunteer for NHS. And I HAVE to do shittons of work for newspaper. Not to mention my countless classes that I have to do homework for.

I mean, I guess I don't HAVE to do homework. Only if I want to get good grades, which I don't HAVE to do. But I want to have the FreeLancer and I want to be in NHS and I want to be in Newspaper... and if I want all these things there are certain things I have to do. So I really shouldn't complain, because in the end, I'm still getting what I want.

I hate when people go all apeshit about grades. You know, it's your choice. You don't HAVE to go to college. Sure, your parents might pressure you, but it's your decision in the end. It's worthless to worry about grades. Who cares? It's a letter on a piece of paper. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't change you in any way. Who cares if you fail a test? It pisses me off.

IT
DOESN'T
MATTER.

Not a smidgen. It's the worst thing in the world to get worked up over. Honestly, if not getting straight A's is the worst thing that can happen to you, you live a pretty goddamn charmed life, so stop fucking complaining. I don't give a shit if you have a 5.0 GPA or a freaking 2.5. It doesn't matter. Tests and grades and all that crap, none of it matters. No one cares. And if 10 years from now you look back and your greatest high school memory is getting an A+ on a test, I pity you. Because it's not about the grades, it's about the experiences you have as you get older and as you start to see the world differently. It's not about the grades you get, but the things you learn inside and outside the classroom.

The only class I ever wanted to get an A in was English in 10th grade. Because that grade meant I was living up to P-Nelli's expectations, that I was accomplishing everything he thought we all should have been able to. I never got there, but I learned so much just trying. I threw myself into the assignments, because they weren't just busy-work like so many other classes. I tried, and I failed, but One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest became one of my favorite books. And I was proud of that B, because it really meant something, and I really tried.

This is getting really long and dumb so I'm done blogging now.

Days until school: 2 fml.

beda 14: a blog about sharks

2010-08-14T23:19:00.000-07:00

so sharks.

they are very misunderstood, except not any longer because of the beauty of shark week.

they have massive teeth that can cut easily and will kill you if you aren't careful!

this is a dumb blog. I start school on freaking TUESDAY. ugh. I'm already so stressed out about everything. This isn't cool.

Too stressed to blog. want to sleep. ok night

beda 13: butterflies

2010-08-13T21:26:00.001-07:00

ok I started writing this thing it is not polished or done or anything but I don't want to blog really so you get this ok you're welcome!

-----

Strange how butterflies once so familiar looked so foreign.

Were they out of place, or was she?

So hastily stuck on once-bare walls, as a 14-year-old girl giddily peeled off stickers and haphazardly aligned them. She had intentionally varied the sizes and colors of the butterfly stickers, as to look more organic. Because nothing said "natural" like synthetic stickers on a white wall.

But the color wasn't white – it was "ivory." Or "eggshell." Or something else precise and specific and detailed. But to her, the walls were white. White, with the top adorned with multicolored butterfly stickers. At one point, a bed sat directly below the stickers. It was how the girl had gotten them that high to begin with. There were about 15 stickers, decently sized (approximately the same size as a baseball, though they varied), situated near where the white wall met the white popcorn ceiling. They looked so awkward, in such an unremarkable part of the room. The bed was now against the opposite wall, a desk too far to the left. What belonged below the butterflies?

A woman was staring at the butterflies. Or, more accurately, the spot underneath them.

beda 12: broke.

2010-08-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

I came across a bank deposit slip from about a year ago. Hard to believe my bank account once contained over $1000. Where the hell did all that money go?!

I'm jobless, and broke, and literally paying for things in dimes. I can't ask my parents for money because they are also short on cash. Stupid economy. Give my dad his nice paying job back.

I dunno. My lack of money is just making itself abundantly known. I need to work. I need. I NEED.

I am too tired to make this any good at all. OH WELL.

5 days of summer. 99 days until Deathly Hallows/My Birthday. 335 days until LeakyCon.

beda 10: sneezing

2010-08-11T01:03:00.000-07:00

I feel sort of bad about not caring about blogging, because I want to care and I want to make decent, interesting, someone fun-to-read posts, but all I do is post crap that I randomly write in the blogging compose thing and post it off for the internet to ignore.

But I'm tired, and want to do this whole BEDA thing, and I started posting something heartfelt and honest and thoughtful -- but I got too tired halfway through and I'm not in the mood to finish it and it's 3AM and I'm awake.

So I think I'm gonna sneak away and go to sleep, not watch the Pretty Little Liars finale tomorrow morning, and try and figure out how to pack a full 2 months of summer into the next 6 days before school starts.

beda 11: people vs characters

2010-08-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's angry blog post that no one read because it was stupid got me thinking about something.

What's the difference between "people" and "characters?"

I have a few musings on this difference.

I am a person. I have strengths and weaknesses and likes and dislikes and imperfections and bad days and complex feelings and complex emotions. I am full of organs and only I know that my thumbs crack weirdly and that at this exact moment one of the stitches in the bottom right corner of my mouth hurts. Only I know exactly how that feels.

The reason stereotypes exist is because it's easier to empathize with something that isn't real or true. Something that's basic and that you don't have to think about. Something that is so void of anything "actual" that it becomes relatable to you. So we have all these ideas of stereotypes and of "normal, typical, everyday people" in our brain and we just mix those ideas with our own experiences and thoughts and emotions, and then we can project those stereotypes onto real, actual people. Then those real, actual people stop being actual people in our brains, and they become the people that we see and the people that we can understand and empathize with.

Everything in the world that we see, we see with our own experiences and actions and feelings and thoughts projecting themselves onto the item in question. We use our own observations where we don't so much see the item, but we see what the item represents. When you see a pencil, what you see literally is a piece of wood with lead inside with a rubber thing on the end, but what you "see" is a way to communicate and you see your memories of holding your first #2 Ticonderoga pencil in Kindergarten while someone is trying to explain to you what those weird scribbly things next to the picture of Spot the Dog mean.

Everything is a symbol and a metaphor and means something and has value.

So when you see another human being -- someone who is also taking in everything and projecting themselves onto everything -- and you project that bit of yourself onto that person, they stop being a person. They become a character. A character in your life, and you see them how you want to see them and make judgments based on your own past. So you use all those stereotypes and fictional people and your own knowledge to create a character on top of a person.

There is value in "imagining people complexly," but you can't empathize with a person. You have to put yourself onto them, see that bit of yourself in another person, before you can empathize. And then you're empathizing with a character.

None of this really makes sense my brain is stupid and bad at communicating its ideas. So this is my blog hope you like it I'm gonna go try to write a book but will probably end up re-reading Catcher in the Rye.

beda 9: shove it.

2010-08-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

Whatever this blog post doesn't even matter.

Alright, I'm gonna go off on a little rant here about how people have stupid opinions.

I was minding my own business, perusing the tumblr "nickelodeonkids" because they post some pretty cute pics of the iCarly gang and I love iCarly, and I came across something... weird. The gal who runs the tumblr was asked who she "shipped" on the various Nickelodeon shows, and this was her response:

"iCarly: SPAM, Spencer & Sam. CREDDIE, Carly & Freddie. I use to really like Sam & Freddie together.
Big Time Rush: LOMILLE, Logan & Camille.
Zoey 101: QUOGAN, Quin & Logan. LICHAEL, Lola & Michael
Victorious: TANDRE, Tori & Andre. JECK, Jade & Beck.
The Troop: JAYLEY, Jake & Hayley

In Real Life,
I don’t know why, but I think Jennette McCurdy & Avan Jogia are dating so, Javan & James Maslow + Miranda Cosgrove, I don’t know why either.

That was a longish post."

I have a few bones to pick with this.

1) SPAM. Ok. WHAT. EWW! WHAT EVEN IS THIS! That is so gross! Spencer is OLD! Like, what even! I don't... why do people think like this! "Oh, look, two costars on a tv show. They would be a good couple." NO THEY WOULDN'T! That doesn't even make sense! It is for this reason I hate so many Harry Potter shippers. Ugh. Like everyone who ships Neville/Luna... where is the back-up for that! Where does that even make sense! Just because they are a BOY and a GIRL who are FRIENDS does NOT MEAN they have to GET TOGETHER that is the most obnoxious freaking thing in the entire world!!!! It's like, I can't even have a guy who is a friend without everyone being all "omg are u guyz like dating~~"
FUCK YOU NO WE'RE NOT DATING and it's really awkward to be all "Ohhhh we're just friendsssss" and it's like people make assumptions and shit and it's really freaking annoying ok?!

And really, Sam and Spencer OH GOD it's just gross!!!! That's even grosser than Spencer and Freddie's MOM and that made me SCREAM!

2) Why does this person think it is cute to make the couple names for all of those people. They aren't even good couple names. Some of the best fictional couples in the world don't have good names... aka Ron and Hermione. Harry Potter again ok I can't get rid of my fanfiction roots. Once I read a Ginny/Dumbledore fanfiction. Dark times. Ugh that's also an annoyance of mine.

3) No, it's not ok to ship real-life romances. It's shit like that that explains why the Disney Channel is pretty much forcing Zac Efron to date Vanessa Hudgens. They definitely aren't ACTUALLY dating, or wouldn't, or whatever, I don't even care, I just want to marry Zac Efron, ok?

This is a really stupid blog post. I'm gonna shut up and watch some jpmetz videos ok.

beda 8: lots of tangents

2010-08-08T20:15:00.001-07:00

my internet has been really annoying lately and I don't do well with that so I'm just really annoyed with the internet right now. and I don't want to be online all the time but I am now because it's hot outside so I can't go be weird with my friends at a park as usual and also I'm broke so I can't do anything really not even put gas in my car.

I'm flat broke. running-out-of-quarters broke. it's very annoying. I need a well-paying, steady job, but I can't work because school is starting and I cannot work doing the school year. but I might have to since I absolutely HAVE to go to LeakyCon. at this point it's not really a discussion. I'm going. that's all there is to it. I am getting on a plane on or before July 13 to go to Orlando, Florida. I don't care if I have to stowaway or rob a bank or what, I just know I'm going to be there.

Huh. You know what I realized? Today is 8/8/10. Two years after 8/8/08. That was the first huge youtube gathering thing that I ever heard of. Aww.

umm I was about to go off on another tangent but I forgot it. so I'm gonna make a list.

things I want to do:
watch hey arnold
read my book
read winnie the pooh
~~have a boyfriend~~

things I am about to do:
read my book ;)

I need a new notebook/journal/observation diary thing. I lost mine a while ago and that makes me sad because it was so pretty and had really important things written in it.

Thinking about that makes me think about writer's workshop which makes me think of a stupid boy I had a stupid crush on in that not stupid class. boys are stupid and dumb and I don't like them.

anyway. I'm tired. and have to be up semi-early tomorrow. so I'm going to go read and stuff ok bye

beda 7: sleep

2010-08-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

i'm tired.

you know what I like? driving. it's a good thing.

I also like talking to people that I like.

blogging is ok.

I don't like school and I don't like being awake when I'm tired but sometimes I'll be talking to people that I like while being awake while I'm tired (weird, that's happening right now) while also blogging.

school starts soon. not too excited. not too excited at all........

this is a bad blog and i am very sorry but only kind of sorry. i'm going to sleep because that's all i do anymore.

beda 6: books, because I'm tired

2010-08-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

booooooooooooklist
1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway
3. The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Scarlet Fever -- Maureen Johnson
5. The Raw Shark Texts -- Steven Hall
6. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao -- Junot Díaz
7. Paper Towns -- John Green
8. High Fidelity -- Nick Hornby
9. The Time Traveler's Wife -- Audrey Niffeneger
10. About a Boy -- Nick Hornby
11. Cold Mountain -- Charles Frazier
12. Rejoice -- McSweeney's
13. Best New American Voices 2009 -- edited by Mary Gatskill
14. Will Grayson, Will Grayson -- John Green
15. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone -- JK Rowling
16. God Says No -- James Hannaham
17. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- JK Rowling
18. How to Read Literature Like a Professor -- Thomas Foster
19. Matilda -- Roald Dahl
20. Lord of the Flies -- William Golding
21. Eats, Shoots And Leaves -- Lynne Truss

currently reading:
bowl of cherries (though I left it at a friend's house)
confessions of a tax collector (which I'm not really devoted to just yet)

want to read:
harry potter and the order of the phoenix
I'm due for a catcher re-read
any suggestions? I'd love to hear them. COMMENTS.

so last night for some reason I couldn't get to sleep and I'm not sure why. at first I was freaking out about my schedule and everything because they put me in spanish 1 instead of spanish 3 and I'm worried that by moving into spanish 3 they'll have to move all my other classes around which will be very annoying and sort of hard to do.

schedule:
hr 1. sociology (w/ yoda, only offered first and second hour (second hour with franklin))
hr 2. physics h (which can probably change)
hr 3. spanish 1 (which needs to change but I don't think there's a spanish 3 third hour)
hr 4. newspaper (which can only be 4th hour or 5th hour)
hr 5. calc 3/differential equations (which can only be 4th hour or 5th hour)
hr 6. ap us government (which can probably change)
hr 7. english 12 ap (which can probably change)

I forsee them moving my english to first hour, sociology to 2nd, physics to 3rd, and then a 2nd hour spanish 3. if such a thing exists.

no one really cares about this but I need to type it all out.

and then I stopped worrying about all that and tried to fall asleep but then called my friend jules instead because i love him and i knew he'd be awake and we talked for a while and then i went to sleep at like 3:30 and now it's 9:30 and i am tired but can't go to sleep.

I'll just read I guess.

beda 5: teeth and blood buckets

2010-08-05T13:14:00.000-07:00

teeth are the worst.
my mouth tastes like blood and i'm not allowed to rinse it out for 12 hours.
i'm spitting into a blood bucket.
my mouth doesn't hurt too bad though so that's good.
i just can't smile.
which is ok because i hate everything.
jk you guys should know that i smile at everything and make jokes and laugh a lot even at inappropriate times. it's just a thing that i do.

------------

a few hours later, things are still fine. ate some food. I have some really awesome friends. emily and megan came over and just laid in bed with me and brought me quik trip and it was so nice of them. they would have brought me peachwave but I'm not allowed to have dairy yet.

my brother is also nice sometimes. apparently he drove around all day doing stuff pretty much for me. my mom asked him too, sure, and he just got his license (so did I don't judge) so he's probably excited to drive, but he filled my pain medication prescription and got my parking pass for school and went to the store and got stuff to make soup that we are only having because of my mouth.

I'm very tired. the anesthetics haven't entirely worn off, and plus the pain meds have a side effect of drowsiness. I'll probably read a book and fall asleep or something.

I filmed a 7ab video today but it won't upload and I don't want to deal with it right now. sooo. I'm sending it to eevee. she doesn't know I'm blogging about her. haahaha.

I like this whole driving thing. it's really nice.

ok so I sort of want to talk about boggarts since that's what my friend katie did. my biggest fear is regret, actually. I fear that I won't experience everything and not do something and that I'll regret not doing this and that. you only get one chance at high school and one chance at life, and it's so important to just do everything you can. I'm not afraid I'll regret DOING something, but that I'll regret NOT doing something. I want to go to every dance and every event and do as much as I can with as much intensity and truth and passion as I can.

so that's what I'm going to do after college, or maybe even before college. I'm going to get out there and go everywhere and see everything and regret nothing. I'm going to push buttons and push limits and get in trouble and get out of trouble. because I'm so scared I'll et stuck, or that the thing that would truly make me happy, I won't find because I won't be adventurous enough to go do it.

and I can't fear pain (of the physical kind) or homesickness or any of that. I don't wanna be a tree with deep roots that go way down into where I am. I wanna be... a shark, always parading the waters, always looking for my "meal" (of fun!) and stuff. so my patronus is a shark fun how I did that hey what's up paul.

ok this is a really long blog if you read this far please comment just saying you read it ok? ok. <3

countdowns:
12 days before school
106 days before DH part 1
342 days before LeakyCon 2011

listening to: your love is my drug -- ke$ha don't judge me

beda 4: zefron

2010-08-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

today I saw Charlie St. Cloud. it was not a good movie, but it wasn't bad, so I was happy watching it -- especially since there was Zefron.

maybe I have an unhealthy obsession with Zefron, but you can't tell me what to do or who to love! AND I LOVE ZEFRON. he is so nice looking. and it was great to see him in a movie where he wasn't playing a teenager. I mean I guess at the beginning he was supposed to be graduating high school, but most of the movie took place "five years later" so he was 23 I guess. which is his actual age! weird. yes I just looked that up. wikipedia. sup.

his hair is so much nicer in Charlie St. Cloud. it is beautiful. I like him a lot ok. and fabulous boy hair is hard to find. most boys have horrible hair. I like a man with nice hair.

Yes, I am projecting all my feelings onto someone "unattainable" because I am a little bit afraid of my own feelings yes. it's a thing I do every so often when I want a boyfriend but do not actually want feelings involved because feelings are yucky and gross and people just get hurt not me but the other person. I don't wanna talk about it.

listening to: party in the... I mean... a really cool song
off to: cinzetti's for a stuco reunion it'll be a good time.

beda 3: ummm

2010-08-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's really hot in my room.

I miss all the bookworms but I'm talking to them so that is nice. Except I'm talking to myself. But I hate Eevee so she can suck it.

[08/03/10] Jefferson.: <333333333333333
[08/03/10] eevee: bitch

I have 180 ways to bang your mom
oh that's not nice

really cool things:
1. katy
2. boobs
3. katy's boobs

jk I hate all the bookworms and I hope they die in a fiery pit of doom and despair where they belong. I hate when they elongate their livesssssssssssssssssssss.

Paul is the worst

[08/03/10] Paul(SaysThings): i'm being serious here
[08/03/10] Paul(SaysThings): and no one else is and its not working
[08/03/10] Rachel: (punch) [08/03/10] ~ktentacles~: when have we ever been serious
[08/03/10] ~ktentacles~: rachel: "welcome to the channel paul"
-- silence --
rachel: i think the punch to paul's face might have been a little much

I only have six minutes to finish this. clearly this is all I'm gonna get because I love my bookworms so much

beda 2: eh whatever

2010-08-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

My name is Katy Westhoff, and I am a teenage girl.

I just watched the Hannah Montana movie and I'm listening to Taylor Swift and I can't wait for the new episode of Pretty Little Liars. I like cute boys and think beer is gross and I wear make-up to hide my pimples.

Whatever. I'm a senior in high school. Just another year, then it's on to bigger and better things. I'm not sure what the plan is -- I might take a gap year before college, I might just go to community college for the first year or two, I might go off to Grinnell; who knows. Whatever I do, it'll be different than the last 17 years of my life.

I'm actually pretty excited for school to start, to be honest. It should be a stress-filled, drama-filled, party-filled, and KICK ASS year, and I am pumped.

I miss you a lot, bookworms and catitude and random people I know, but I'm sort of doing a different thing now. I'm just consistently inconsistent. :) I'm glad BEDA has opened up another window through which to connect and talk and be friends. I'm trying my best to comment and read as many beda blogs as possible. If you are reading this, post your link in the comments of this so I can read yours, too! If you are reading this I'm sure you are a lovely person.

countdowns:
14 days until school starts
109 days until harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1 SLASH my birthday
344 days until Leaky Con 2011

Someone remind me to write/mail out a letter to Sierra thanks

beda 1: shut up I'm a day late ok

2010-08-02T12:17:00.001-07:00

hello it's august and BEDA and apparently I'm going to start august 2nd that's ok right.

weird, last BEDA I was a sophomore in high school and now I'm going to be a senior. weird weird weird! a few months can make a huge difference, huh? BEDA completely skipped over the entirety of my junior year. that's ok, though. not a big year. most of the good stuff didn't start happening until april/may.

so.

right now I'm rockin' some silly bandz. a crown, a bunny, a popsicle, "TTYL," and "LOL." also, a really lame/awesome "friendship bracelet" with a bunch of random beads on it that I just find hilarious and ironic.

last night I went to my second drinking party. I did not drink because there was only beer which is quite disgusting and I had to watch out for my pal. there were very attractive males there. I was very pleased with their attractiveness. graduated Rockhurst boys. mmmmm. it was not a very big party, but there was beer pong on an awkward table, and I watched the pretty boys play. I only knew my pal there, but I made some friends. we played zoomy zoomy, a super fun drinking game. then the dad came home and it was hilarious and awkward and we got the fuck out of there. whoo!

I'm hungry.

is it weird if I sort of miss summer gym? for three weeks I saw the same group of people every day, and now I'll probably never see them again. I mean, a few of them go to my school so I'll see them sometimes, but not too frequently... it's sad.

I'm gonna go eat now though. and maybe take a nap. and maybe blog a second time later to catch up for beda. ok!

listening to: middle of nowhere // hot hot heat

sort of annoyed.

2010-07-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

feel sick because my parents decided not to feed me and I ate half a lunchable and some sour cream and onion pringles -- that's it.

very annoyed.

can't find my phone.

honestly, not digging avps that much.

CAN'T FIND MY FUCKING SERVICE-LESS PHONE.

sisters have friends over. more of a life than me.

don't wanna tell anyone this because i'd just like it if everyone KNEW i was in a bad mood, instinctively, and could just bring me a nice turkey sandwich right to my bed and refill my glass of cherry limeade, without me having to say anything or text anyone or think at all. and I don't care if that's stupid and selfish and impossible and silly: it's what I want. and not "everyone," obviously. just one person, maybe.

I thought this was funny

2010-06-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'll actually be celebrating my 38th birthday on November 19th, when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows premiers.

booklist update

2010-06-17T15:15:00.000-07:00

a false image. and some books.

2010-06-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'd just like to clarify something, for posterity's sake.

I've only been to ONE party. Not several parties. Turns out, the reason I never went to one before wasn't for lack of desire, but for lack of invitation. I thought it was a combination, or that people didn't invite me because they figured I wouldn't be interested. As it happens, such is not the case. And that's fine. So don't go thinking my life is all different or whatever. It's not.

By the way, booklist. It's been a while.

1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway
3. The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Scarlet Fever -- Maureen Johnson
5. The Raw Shark Texts -- Steven Hall
6. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao -- Junot Díaz
7. Paper Towns -- John Green
8. High Fidelity -- Nick Hornby
9. The Time Traveler's Wife -- Audrey Niffeneger
10. About a Boy -- Nick Hornby
11. Cold Mountain -- Charles Frazier
12. Rejoice -- McSweeney's
13. Will Grayson, Will Grayson -- John Green

Currently Reading: Confessions of a Tax Collector by Richard Yancey

Jamming to: Bright Eyes, Taylor Swift, and Wakey!Wakey. Someone's Angsty!Angsty!! (it's me)
QT Dranks: 9.

NO REGRETS

2010-06-02T00:10:00.000-07:00

to all the kids who have school in june:
hahaha suck my dick.

there are butterflies in my stomach every time my phone lights up.

I feel way more comfortable posting the intimacies of my life on my blog. No one reads it, and if they do, well, I have nothing to be afraid of.

And, I mean, for the really personal things, I have my angst tumblr. ;)

idk. Boys are dumb. I wouldn't even care about him a little bit if HE hadn't approached ME first. So I feel less pathetic thinking about it that way.

In other news.

As is probably common knowledge, I went to a party and got my drank on last... Friday, was it? No matter. The interesting part was I called my parents beforehand, just to say that I would not be coming home. The conversation went as follows:

"So what are you guys doing tonight?"
"Oh, um, I don--"
"Your mom thinks you're going to a party."
"Um, I, uh..."
"Be safe."

WHY DO MY PARENTS WANT ME TO PARTY. They want me to wear "normal" clothes and all this crap. I don't get it. I think they just want me to fit in. Apparently in the class sociology, parents have a need for their kids to have that "insider" status. And I completely get that. That idea of intimacy with peers, of being "in," not alone, all that. That's why inside jokes are so important, why humor connects people the way it does.

I mean, it's not like my parents are forcing me out to parties, but I can tell they've always been sort of worried about me. I'm weird and have odd habits and have had a nonexistent social life, until recently. And they're just encouraging this new "path" or whatever you want to call it.

Whatever I'm tired just some musings before I go to sleep.

QT dranks: 8
jamming to: jay-z and taylor swift

excuses? nah.

2010-05-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

So. I'm surprised I haven't gotten some backlash yet.

I'm a different person than I was this time last year. I have friends. I'm going to parties -- with alcohol and weed and crazy antics. I'm not on skype ever. I've been out of my house every night this summer. I'm happy, I'm a teenager, I'm living life. I'm fawning over a boy notorious for being a ladies' man. I listen to Ke$ha, Jay-Z, Asher Roth.

That doesn't change the fact that I'm still a nerd, though. I was up at 6AM the other morning talking about the show Recess. I make references to Friends. I still listen to my DFTBA Records artists. I hung out with Darci and completely dorked out over this really AWESOME stuff.

And look! Of all things, I'm BLOGGING.

I'm doing stuff I've never done before. But I'm still, at heart, the same. I'm a dork, I'm weird, I'm a nerd. The biggest thing I'm excited for is the fact that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out on my birthday. My 18th birthday!! And there are 409 days until LeakyCon 2011.

I'm done worrying about school, newspaper, the FreeLancer, student council, AP tests... it's over. I can swim. I can tan. I can, after a year of hard work, finally relax.

QT 32-oz drinks: 6
Bought: 11

i will regret publishing this i bet.

2010-05-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

Do you tend to speed when you drive?
I'm terrified of everything also i don't drive yet

Does your temper flare a lot?
nah i keep it under wraps pretty well

Do you get emotional easily?
not too much. i cry sometimes but emotions don't get the better of us westhoffs. we don't have emotions.

Which shoe goes on first?
Left

Are you lazy?
Haha.

Name one thing you do that people always tell you about:
umm. sing. poorly.

Are you superstitious?
not really.

Do you get bored with relationships quickly?
yes, actually, that accurately describes everything.

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
right now i have no blankets.

What do you sleep in?
a bed?

YOUR ABCs

A - is for the last person that made you ANGRY: ummm I don't remember.

B - is for BEER you prefer: nonexistent beer B)

C - is for do you have a CAT?: a horrible thing

D - is for can you DANCE?: B)

E - is for do you have your EARS pierced?: nope

F - is for your best FRIEND: at this point? probably Alysabeth.

G - is for did you ever watch GUTS on Nickelodeon?: of course!!!!

H - is for the last person who HUGGED you?: honestly probably Mr. Nickels. I don't hug a lot.

I - is for close your eyes.. what IMAGE do you see?: me sleeping.

J - is for have you ever been to JAIL?: haahha no.

K - is for when is the last time you flew a KITE?: let's go fly a kite up to the highest height.

L - is for your first LOVE: Patrick, preschool, possibly imaginary.

M - is for the last piece of MAIL you got: a bunch of valentine's cards from BLAZE love you girl

N - is for do you remember NERF guns?: still have some B)

O - is for do you OWN a car?: yes; can't drive it, but own it.

P - is for your favorite PAST TIME: internet?

Q - is for do you like peace & QUIET: sometimes. mostly yes. I like to sleep.

R - is for do you like the color RED?: one of my favorites, actually.

S - is for how many hours of SLEEP you need to function?: 12.

T - is for what TIME is it?: 11:04.

U - is for what is UNDER your bed?: a bunch of clothes that could probably fit my sisters now.

V - is for what you did last VALENTINES day: ummmm i don't even remember. homework

W - is for do you drink a lot of WATER?: no, I'm a carbonated beverage girl.

X - is for have you ever had an X-RAY?: yeah, I broke my arm when I was 5 or something.

Y - is for the last person you YELLED at?: Alysabeth. but not angry yell. just... we yell.

Z - is for have you ever watched ZORRO?: I think with my cousins one time.

RANDOM

Who do you wish you could hang out with right now?: brody

Name one thing you absolutely can not stand: bad teeth

Where do you spend most of your time?: in bed/alysabeth's car

Have you ever hit a squirrel when you were driving?: no )':

Did your car ever break down?: no

What is the longest amount of time you’ve been awake?: 12 hours. lol no I've made it 24 I think one time. Then I slept for the next 30 hours.

What would you do if you found out the world was ending in one week?: it's been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry

Do scary movies make you paranoid when you watch them alone?: I don't watch scary movies ever.

Name one thing you’ve lied about recently: umm I told alysabeth i didn't give brody my phone number when really i did.

What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?: HAPPY FEET GODDAMMIT.

Who was the first person to ever give you flowers?: my dad :')

2010-05-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

he's lost his will to think, to care
the world is fine from his "down there"
and Hell already is frozen, see?
what good does it do to rise?

he's lost his will to live, to be
the world is fine from his canopy
he's already paid for heaven's share
what good does it do to prolong demise?

the two, they meet in purgatory
without a way to tell his story
one goes up, the other down
they obey without a single sound

repent, repent, oh God forgive he
he loves his mom, oh God, he's sorry
he works and works: repent, repent
and soon he shall be Heaven sent

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

2010-04-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah I figure I should blog about it.

The thing is, I can't decide how I feel about it. I've been looking at reviews that rate the book poorly to see if I'm offended or if I agree. The unfortunate thing is WG,WG's readers are mostly made up of John Green's loyal fans, would say they loved Twilight if John Green wrote it.

Most of the bitching comes from David's lack of capitalization or the fact that the two Wills weren't "changed" drastically after their meetings. Neither of these things bothered me. I didn't like David's lack of capitalization because his will didn't care about jack shit, which bothered me.

I sort of wish there was more collaboration in writing the chapters. Instead of just two writers writing their own stories, I would have liked to see more interconnected motifs or symbols or something. There was no glue holding the two Wills together until they met, and then their glue was Tiny. It felt sort of half-assed to me. It's not that they met and became best friends forever. It's not that they met and never spoke to each other again. They met, and then knew that the other existed, and that was pretty much it. It was so... lame. And every so often John and David would use the same word here or there, which just made it feel awkward. It felt like two separate pieces of fabric loosely tied together that didn't really go together and the attaching string was falling out.

The other thing: people say they hated Tiny. I can't say I cared. I didn't care about Will or will or Jane or Gideon or Maura -- I didn't care about any of them. No one was very compelling, or interesting, or different. I could describe them all in less than 10 words. Maybe I'm sick of John's constant use of the dubious narrator (Pudge, Colin, Quentin...); maybe I just don't care about the character whose main description was "big and gay."

I also hate hate hate both narrations use of the "Big Realization." The reader is supposed to be the realizer. If the narrator realizes what the reader is supposed to, it just makes it look like the writer doesn't respect his reader's intelligence to figure it out. Other things I hate: dream sequences. Writing about writing. Overuse of exclamation points. Not that any of that is relevant, but still.

To summarize: I didn't like it all that much. Not horrible, fun to read, but not the best thing ever. Not that anyone cares.

some lists

2010-04-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

aaaaaaaaaaah gross I think I just got bird poop on the bottom of my laptop. I hate the environmental ed room.

booklist:
1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway
3. The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Scarlet Fever -- Maureen Johnson
5. The Raw Shark Texts -- Steven Hall
6. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao -- Junot Díaz
7. Paper Towns -- John Green
8. High Fidelity -- Nick Hornby
9. The Time Traveler's Wife -- Audrey Niffeneger
10. About a Boy -- Nick Hornby

currently reading:
cold mountain (for class) -- charles frazier
rejoice -- mcsweeney's
new american voices 2009 (YES STILL OK)

soon:
will grayson will grayson

obsessed with:
the upkeep of effyeahnerdfighters
The Oatmeal
logging into arka's gmail LOL JK! I'd never invade his privacy like that.
Disney crap

movies to watch:
Monsters, Inc.
Mean Girls
High School "Don't Judge Me" Musical

PS:
does this remind anyone else of Cory? Love ya man.

reminiscing

2010-04-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway
3. The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Scarlet Fever -- Maureen Johnson
5. The Raw Shark Texts -- Steven Hall
6. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao -- Junot Díaz
7. Paper Towns -- John Green
8. High Fidelity -- Nick Hornby
9. The Time Traveler's Wife -- Audrey Niffeneger

currently reading:
about a boy -- nick hornby
rejoice -- mcsweeney's
new american voices 2009 (I know: still.)

up next:
the frog king -- adam davies
will grayson, will grayson -- john green
giraffes? giraffes! -- dr. and mr. doris hagis-on-whey

----------

This time last year, I was busting my ass in Pulsinelli's class.

This time last year, I started to realize the true meaning of books and literature and reading and writing.

This time last year, I was doing BEDA, full-fledged.

Aww, this time last year Al Pal started following me on twitter and reading my blog and became my friend. Love ya, buddy.

Aww, this time last year omegle was a big thing! How precious.

April was a big month for me last year. I'm glad BEDA was around to document it. This year, not so much. I've been sleeping a lot, due to stress, etc.

So this blog isn't about you, Reader. It's about me. And seeing how I've grown and changed and all that. Which is true for everything I do: vlogs, writings, whatever. I mean, it's not a diary, because it's not always about my mushy gushy feelings or any of that. I'm not as open as I'd like to be on the internet, but I'm not as closed off, either.

I don't know. I need to do my homework more.

~I love booklists~

2010-04-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

2010-04-01T19:08:00.001-07:00

it's like there's me

and I'm going through this gray-white tunnel like things with these little openings, and the tunnel surrounds me on all sides; it's more of a tube, really, that goes on infinitely in either direction. The "floor" I'm walking on bends and stretches and aches, like it's one of those tunnels at Chuck E. Cheese's, but it's all solid. And I don't have a direction, just forward (what I presume to be forward), and I occasionally stop at the little holes. Most of them don't move, but some of them are elastic and start to stretch. One of them I could fit my arm through. Another I could get most of my torso in. And finally, finally, after miles, presumably, of walking in this tube thing, I get frustrated and start to try every little opening. And then I find one that I can squeeze through. I get my arm through, and pull my torso through, and I get my butt up and sit up on this white ledge, and I'm in the same tube as before, except now there's a platform and the tube is a lot wider and the ceiling a lot higher.

So I stand up on the platform and I yell out, as loudly as I can, but nothing comes out.

sorry my blogs are boring; booklist

2010-03-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway
3. The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Scarlet Fever -- Maureen Johnson
5. The Raw Shark Texts -- some guy?
6. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao -- another guy

currently reading:
Paper Towns
Best New Voices: 2009

booklist 2010

2010-03-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway
3. The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. Scarlet Fever -- Maureen Johnson

currently reading:
The Raw Shark Texts
Best New Voices: 2009

ffffffffail. :)

Disney quotes I try to work into everyday conversation:

2010-03-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

"It's our motto."
"What's a motto?"
"Nothing, what's a motto with you?"
-- Timon and Simba, The Lion King

"If it's not baroque, don't fix it."
-- Cogsworth (to Belle), Beauty and the Beast

"YOU ARE A CHILD'S PLAY THING."

"This is no time to panic."
"This is a perfect time to panic."

"Buzz look an alien!"
"Where?!"

"You're... mocking me, aren't you?"
-- Woody and Buzz, Toy Story

"Hey Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming (etc)"

"There's a mollusk and a sea cucumber.... (etc)"

"Es-cop-ay. Funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape'..."
-- Marlin and Dory, Finding Nemo

[I'll add to this post when I consciously make a Disney/Pixar reference. There are a lot more from Nemo...]

a blig, blog, a bliggity blog

2010-03-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

A few things.

-- my booklist now totals THREE BOOKS! amazing. phenomenal. I am so lazy. Hopefully the rest of Spring Break will be beneficial to my booklist.

-- I've been listening to a lot of rap lately. There's nothing to explain this phenomenon, except I guess I like rap. So if I randomly start busting out a rhyme from Lil' John, don't be surprised.

-- Got to hang out with Arka IRL this weekend. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

-- I think I'm due for another Catcher re-reading. Made a few observations about the contrast between expectations and reality today. Listened to the Mountain Goats. I was a bit of an angst bucket today, which doesn't make sense since I was reading Scarlett Fever.

-- Speaking of webcomics, I talked to Drew via twitter AND email, AND Sanjay via twitter. I love my life.

-- I find it weird that I'm able to incorporate stuff I learn in American History in everyday (one word) conversation.

-- I've become rapidly obsessed with the effyeahnerdfighters tumblr. I help with it and stuff. And I love it.

Ok the end.

BOOKLIST 2010 BRO

2010-03-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

1. Huck Finn -- Mark Twain
2. A Farewell To Arms -- Ernest Hemmingway

currently reading:
The Great Gatsby
Best New Voices: 2009

to-read:
brief wondrous life of oscar wao
sharks
rejoice
god says no
harry a history
giraffes? giraffes!
re-read Tom Sawyer
carter finally gets it -- brent crawford
re-read paper towns
Hey Nostradamus! by Douglas Coupland
geektastic
will grayson will grayson
we wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families
nickel and dimed
god is not great
Binky Brown Meets the Holy Virgin Mary
W.E.B. Du Bois
all the a.a. milne/Winnie the Pooh books
Song of Soloman
Mathilda Savitch

alphabet??

2010-03-04T15:27:00.000-08:00

a) I am still busy and stressed.
b) I think I need glasses. Everything farther than ten feet is really blurry and I have to squint. Lulz.
c) Everyone at my school is fantastically horny or something!! There was this kid I saw six times today, every time with his girlfriend. I recognized him/sort of knew him because he was in my Spanish class last semester but I still don't know him. But he and this chick were holding hands and standing without breathing room and being generally gross. At WPA (which holy crap was two weeks ago! I could have sworn it was yesterday!) there was this couple virtually having clothed-sex against a wall... awk. And just general couple-grossness. Is this left over from romantic Valentine's Day emotions or something? Also, people are dating ALL OVER THE PLACE! Myself included. But my friend Megan got with a guy, and Al Pal with Kris, and Luke and Kristina, and Avy and Jamie or something... what is this????

That's it.

I wish I could live my life only quoting McSweeney's

2010-02-25T11:30:00.000-08:00

I feel like no one really knows what's going on in my life anymore. I'm too busy living to try and explain what all is going on. So here's what's going on:

NEWSPAPER: Every other Wednesday is "deadline night." Which means I stay at school until 7 or 8 to finish my stories. I've written a feature on Qi Chen, my internet friends column, a news story on the Supreme Court ruling Citizens United vs the Federal Elections Commission, and, most recently, a boring story about teachers in my school district getting paid blah blah blah no one cares. The boring story caused me to be at school until 7 last night. Whoo.

FREELANCER: The literary magazine of which I am the editor blah. Money is probably still and issue, but we're focusing on actually making sure there will be an issue. I've been staying after school most nights working on it. It's time consuming, but will be worth it. And thank god I'm not alone.

STUCO: Student Council. I'm running for exec again this year. I lost last year. I told a speech about a stegosaurus. I've been bribing freshmen with candy. Voting just happened so I'll know the results after school tomorrow. I'm tremendously nervous. I have to win. Send good vibes my way! Also, I had a shadow from Blue Springs' Student Council today. She was nice, but didn't laugh at my "jokes," which was awkward. But then this other guy from Blue Springs seemed to understand my humor and we got along pretty well during lunch, so that's good. Hopefully next week I'll get to go to their school and shadow someone.

HOMEWORK: AHAP is eating my soul with insane amounts of reading. I should be doing more of my calculus homework, but I'm not. My grades are doing ok, luckily. I'm in NHS, at least. The induction ceremony is next week.

Somehow, I manage to go to sleep at 10 or 11 every night. I think it's because I'm just so exhausted I collapse without making sure everything is done, or rushing to get everything done. So I'm on the internet a lot less, which stinks, but is ok.

Love you, blogosphere. You're cool guys.

an open letter to those who "hate America"

2010-02-21T20:30:00.000-08:00

Remember you live in a country that allows you to say you hate it.

Remember you live in a country where you can blog, where you have internet access, where you can access information.

Remember you live in a country where you can participate in the legal process.

Remember you live in a country that millions -- billions -- dream about. Remember you have opportunities some people can't even begin to imagine.

Remember you live in a country where people can stand up for themselves: African Americans, women, now gays.

Remember you live in an "experiment." It's a process, and it has been working, and we'll get there. To that idealized land of opportunity and freedom and justice for all; where the rights of the Constitution will be applied fairly and justly and rightly; where bigots don't exist and equality is all around.

Remember that for all its flaws, there is someone out there trying to reform your country.

2010-02-20T22:26:00.000-08:00

Some people are oblivious.
I'm jealous.
I'm dutifully aware.
I observe and I listen.
I think and I conclude.
While you're dancing downstairs,
happy,
content,
innocent,
while the paranoid wipe their eyes
and say they're tired
and can't sleep.

HOW TO: Create a Socially Awkward Atmosphere

2010-02-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

The complete guide to making everything as awkward as possible! Anyone can do it! All you need:

-- a high school
-- a lunch table with other people
-- a phone
-- a disappointing glare
-- inborn awkwardness!

1) Find a table in your high school's cafeteria that's already occupied. It's better if you recognize some of the people, so they have some idea who you are (trust me, it makes it even more awkward).

2) Listen to the friends at the table exchange tales of fancy and Friday night fiascoes. Don't ever enter the conversation. Act aloof, text, put on headphones without music playing, but always be listening and retaining information.

3) After each story, make a disappointing glare at the story's teller.

4) If the teller is looking around the table and makes eye contact with everyone at the table, wait until (s)he sees you and break the connection.

5) Look immediately at your lap, pull up your phone, and send a text to anyone. Make sure you have a sly grin on your face; that way the teller will think you are talking about him/her.

Every day of my life:

2010-02-09T16:56:00.000-08:00

-- Mom walks in my room to wake me up.
-- Groan and go to sleep an extra 5-10 minutes.
-- Wake up, get dressed, pee, brush teeth.
-- Pack my backpack, put on shoes, walk downstairs, go to class.
-- School, where I sit and I learn and I absorb and I try to get those meaningless points to get that pointless A. Figure I don't really have to try that hard to get a B, that an 89.4 looks the same as a 79.5 once report cards come out, zone out for whatever the teacher's talking about.
-- Focus what little energy I have into stuff I actually care about: newspaper, FreeLancer, reading the books for English, AHAP, occasionally calculus, the rare chemistry worksheet.
-- Stay after school usually until 3:30, sometimes later.
-- Go home, nap, talk to people on skype, eat something, internet.
-- Homework.
-- Talk to people on skype
-- More homework.
-- More talking.
-- Sleep at 12:34.

Dodger and Betsey

2010-01-27T18:49:00.001-08:00

-- Well now, this is sure to be a helluva story, Mr. William. These two were just "chilling" in the school parking?
-- Yes sir. They followed me to school.
-- From where, might I ask?
-- From my house, sir.
-- Right. A smartass.
-- Sir, I can assure you, Dodger and Betsey are well-behaved and would never, I mean never, stampede into a car without some sort of provocation!
-- Oliver William, we all know how you feel about James O'Brian. How might have Mr. O'Brian provoked these animals?
-- I swear, sir, Dodger and Betsey: they're the sweetest hippos in the world. They've been a couple forever, way longer than your marria-
-- My private affairs have nothing to do with these hippos, Mr. William. What exactly do you intend to do about Mr. O'Brian's car?
-- Sir, as Jimmy clearly did something to upset the hippos, my uncle will pay for half the damages to the car. You know, my uncle, the zookeeper, who I live with since the death of my parents...
-- Don't play that pity card with me, Mr. William. Now, I expect you to return the key to the hippo's cage to your uncle, pay full damages to Mr. O'Brian's car, and issue an apology to the custodial crew who have to clean up the... mess your "friends" made.
-- Mr. Frederickson, sir - can I call you Buddy?
-- No.
-- Buddy. Please. The hippos came of their own free will. I didn't steal my uncle's key! Jimmy O'Brian has always been immature, ever since he pantsed me in front of the entire school after I beat him in the spelling bee. This childish behavior must have been what provoked the hippos to stampede into his car!
-------

unfinished. let me know what you think. I wrote it today in writer's workshop. :)

things

2010-01-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

I had a good day.

Despite losing my favorite pens that I love more than anything in the world and misplacing my jacket leaving me cold in the wind, I hiccup-laughed from 1AM to 3:30. "Hiccup-laughing" is what happens to me when something is so drastically funny I have to inhale rapidly to stop from passing out, and the inhales are still laughing and it's squeaky and it sounds like a hiccup.

I mean, last night was so exciting because of arkapaino. Whoever you are, arkapaino, you make me laugh SO MUCH. Plus there was some other excitement* in my life so yeah.

English was fun because I kept singing Cascada (I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me...) and it was great. AHAP was GREAT because Cam and Alex and the stapler and the 3 Stooges and it was wonderful; hiccup-laughing for ten minutes straight. Calc is always funny, chem is always funny, paper wasn't too funny but I couldn't stop smiling, Spanish wasn't funny but that's ok because writer's workshop was HILARIOUS!!!! Let's just say my teacher said "He's eating your sausage!" and... well... we're teenagers what do you expect!!!!

I mean. I'm happy. It's weird. I am really upset about the pen thing but I just don't want to focus on that and I'm worried about the impending ~doom~ of AHAP and a chemistry test that I'm sure to fail and a calc test coming up... but I think I'll be OK.

*lol you think this is going to tell you anything! HA I laugh at your idiocy but this asterisk may very well be the reason I'm so giddy WHO KNOWS~

life

2010-01-23T00:01:00.001-08:00

life life life life
this is life
this is my life
this is life and what life is and how life is and this is life

me defining the word "legendary" for my 8-year-old sister:

2010-01-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

me: oh um it's like... like you do something SO AWESOME and cool that people remember it for a long time. like if I won the lottery, I would be a legend.
clara: what's a good sentence for that word?
me: uhm uhh uhhhhhh
clara: *starts to walk away*
me: wait wait! you watch How I Met Your Mother, right?
clara: yeah
me: you know how barney says "legen wait for it dary?" and whatever happens next is going to be cool and memorable?
clara: oh I get it now!!
me: relating a second grader's spelling list to television. Welcome to 2010.

2010: so far.

2010-01-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

Well, it's already been a helluva year.

If this week (mind, it's only Tuesday) is any indication of the rest of the semester and the rest of 2010, I'll be terrifically relieved when 2011 rears her head.

I'm not going to whine about the mundane goings-on of my stress-inducing life, but I will say all I want to do is read and sleep and watch Friends, which is filled with a void of homework and demanding extracurriculars.

The booklist so far totals 0.

I'll figure it out, I'm sure, and in a few weeks it'll be routine. It's just hard getting into stuff, you know? Junior year is indisputably the hardest academic year of high school, and I am busting my ass keeping up. I really, really want to do well this semester. I know I deserve it, and it's all a matter of keeping myself motivated and not getting distracted. I need to recognize when I'm busy and hope that people understand when I can't talk or I can't hang out, etc. Usually I'm breezy, but it's time I focus.

Once I figure out the academic shabang, then I can maybe look into getting a job, getting my license; all those things.

Oh look it's 11:11!! bedtime.

anecdote time~

2010-01-10T11:23:00.000-08:00

Cleaning my room, I come across some fairly bizarre things I forgot I had.

Mostly pens, a shirt that was all but forgotten, random papers...

But I just came across a cellophane bag with something wrapped in pink tissue paper. I opened it up and inside was... a paper plate.

Wow.

My Love Affair with Dave Eggers

2010-01-05T19:10:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNk-k9eVUFU&#t=2m47s

By itself, What is the What did not change my life. I was a new Nerdfighter circa May 2008, had finished watching all the vlogbrothers videos, and decided that John's book suggestions couldn't be horrible. That summer, I went to the library, picked up What is the What, read it, and that was that. I enjoyed it, sure. And I felt a deeper connection to John due to this shared experience of reading a book. I'm weird like that.

Dave Eggers himself didn't stick with me, but the book was always sort of in the back of my mind. For those who don't know, What is the What is the fictionalized "auto"biography of Valention Achak Deng, who was a Sudanese Lost Boy. Deng told Eggers his life story, and Eggers then stylistically made it a novel, making comparisons between Deng's life in Sudan during the wars and Deng's life in America, where his skills are limited and his life is subpar.

The preface of the novel reads: "Over the course of many years, Dave and I have collaborated to tell my story... I told [him] what I knew and what I could remember, and from that material he created this work of art," written by Deng.

It's a very powerful story, and Eggers shows Valentino's voice so distinctly and beautifully it makes me ashamed to aspire being a writer.

And then came sophomore year; and then came Pulsinelli.

For one of our very first assignments, we were to write an "Open Letter to a Person or Entity Who Is Unlikely to Respond." You'll note the link is McSweeney's. I didn't put Dave Eggers, the author of the book I read over the summer, and this bizarre and beautiful website together.

Another early assignment was our very first Outside Reading project. Pulsinelli gave us a list of books to choose from: all nonfiction; some memoirs. The books included Bill Bryson, Nickel and Dimed, one book about being a teacher, and A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. It should not escape anyone that aHWoSG is by Dave Eggers and currently tops the charts of my favorite books.

Now, I must admit I was feeling quite pleased with myself as P-Nelli presented the books available for outside reading. I contemplated picking a Bill Bryson -- I had read The Lost Continent and loved it -- but something about aHWoSG was so appealing. It couldn't be coincidence that John Green had brought one book by this man in my life and now my English teacher (who I fell in love with right away) showed him to me again. This was a sign. This was fate. I was destined to read that book.

And once I did... well, you'll understand if you read it. There's no possible way of reading it and, being a holier-than-thou English asshat, not fall in love with Dave Eggers. He's not self-pitying like some like to claim. He's not full of himself. Sure, he might be a bit pretentious, but aren't we all?

He's a visionary, a genius. MIGHT magazine. 826 National. McSweeney's. The Valentino Achak Deng Foundation. The Best American Nonrequired Reading anthologies. Wholpin. The Believer. Voice of Witness.

He inspired me to do great things. He showed me a world I never thought could exist. My life dreams revolve around everything he's done, everything he's created.

And that's why you all, lovely blog readers, should get yourselves some Dave Eggers.

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (nonfiction/memoir), the story of Dave Eggers himself. After both his parents suffer cancer-related deaths, Topher, the youngest Egger sibling, is placed in the care of Dave. Dave has some growing up to do himself, but he does it with little Toph.
What is the What (fiction), already explained.
You Shall Know Our Velocity! (fiction), the story of a man who finds himself a fortune. Feeling unworthy of his cash, he goes around the world with his friend Hand to try and give it to people who need it.
How We Are Hungry (fiction/short stories), with varying lengths and genres. All beautifully written.
Zeitoun (nonfiction), the true story of a Syrian-American and family who suffer in Hurricane Katrina. The book goes into both the tragedy of Katrina as well as Zeitoun's life and family in Louisiana as well as Syria. Extremely interesting, heartbreaking, and eye-opening.
The Wild Things (fiction, based off the children's book and movie), which in some points follows the movie but in others diverges severely. The book enhances the movie and the move enhances the book. Beautiful story telling. See if you can get your hands on a fuzzy copy like me. :)

C'mon guys. Read one. For me?

2010

2009-12-30T16:25:00.000-08:00

Well.

I think I'm officially throwing in the towel for the 50 Books in a Year thing. I'm tired. I'm busy. But mostly I want to save the few I was going to read for 2010, when I'll try again; this time I'll do it.

I just got 100 subscribers on YouTube. I don't even care about subscribers. But when I saw the number hit 96, I thought, "Hmm. That's close to 100. I can get four more." And I did. Sure, a good 10 of them don't really "count" -- theselovelypeople, 7awesomebookworms, zefronnekkid... haha. But still.

It's been a weird year. It's been a weird decade. It's been a weird life. I'm proud of myself. I like the person I am. I came up with a few resolutions for myself in July.

I told myself I'd blog all year. Accomplished.
I told myself I'd win NaNoWriMo. Failed, but I'm not too upset with that.
I told myself I'd do "the usual." I've been trying to stop a few bad habits for a while now, but this year... well. Let's just say it'll be on next year's list.
I told myself I'd actually make youtube videos. Accomplished.

I'm telling myself:
the usual
to get my driver's license
to get a job
to get decent grades
to maintain my youtube channel
to write
to read 50 books (before Sierra)
to keep my room clean
to waste less time

I'm going to run for stuco executive board and I'm going to go to wizard rock concerts and I'm going to have money and I'm going to apply to college this year.
I'm going to be myself and love myself and love those around me this year.
I'm going to be happy.
I'm going to be happy this year.

if you're bored then you're boring

CRISS MASS L00T

2009-12-25T07:13:00.000-08:00

yeeeeeeh.

1. pajamas mmm cozy
2. highliters score!
3. multicolored G2 pens score!
4. jingle bells? idk
5. "unique shape" sticky notes lol
6. cinemark, barnes and noble, and iTunes giftcard
7. $50 prepaid visa thingy (basically a gift card for whatever I want)
8. some hershey's kisses <3 nomnomnom
9. the hunger games which I already own so I'll return it for probably God Says No or something else McSweeney's
10. slipper boot things
11. ku sweatshirt
12. new bedspread thing
13. a booklight which came with...
14. A PINK SNUGGIE LOL

lol my life is great <3

sometimes

2009-12-24T17:27:00.000-08:00

I love my siblings.

I decided to go down to the living room, which no one ever sits in except on Christmas when we open presents, to read a little in front of the fire. My sister* sat down next to me, reading the second Harry Potter book. I read a little bit of it to her and then she took over while I immersed myself in my book. Next time I look up, my brother is sitting in the chair above me reading**, and my other sister is reading*** on the couch. It was adorable.

After Thanksgiving, in our typical tradition, my dad had the Christmas lights put up and we were set on turning on the lights timed precisely with the lighting of the Plaza.*** Typically, we christen the occasion by jamming to some Christmas tunes, but this year I announced I wanted to listen to Michael Jackson instead, and my lovely sibs backed me up. Despite my mother's pleas, we marched outside and demanded to listen to Thriller. My dad was all with us, though he was a tad on the drunk side (then again, so was mommy). So there we were, right after eating our late Thanksgiving dinner, ready to turn on the lights, listening and singing along to Thriller.

Only sometimes.

I guess the holiday isn't so bad, though.

*The youngest, Clara. She's been working on Chamber of Secrets since last Christmas break... meh. She'll learn. She's only in second grade.
**He's reading House of Leaves. His name is Evan. He is 15, a sophomore.
***That's Ellie, the second youngest. Fourth grade. She was reading The Report Card, written by Andrew Clemens, I believe.
****The Plaza is the big shopping center/main hub of the city. Every year they have one of the most spectacular Christmas lights in the country or something.

truckin right along

2009-12-24T15:00:00.001-08:00

SOPHOMORE YEAR
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close

SUMMER BOOKS
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets
28.5. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
29. harry potter and the goblet of fire
30. a river runs through it

JUNIOR YEAR
31. bird by bird
32. the things they carried
33. the hunger games
34. zeitoun
35. an encyclopedia of an ordinary life
36. the key to the golden firebird
37. the wild things
38. the crucible
39. god bless you, dr. kevorkian
40. grapes of wrath
41. the mismeasure of man
42. v for vendetta
43. the scarlet letter
44. hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
45. catching fire
46. spanking watson
47. how I became stupid

a million tiny feathers

2009-12-18T12:54:00.001-08:00

the world in your head is never what it really is, but you don't know what you want anyway and you try so hard and accomplish so little and no one notices you but you try not to care and you try and hide your insecurities instead of trying to embrace them I am a million tiny feathers you have no idea what I've been through I was tame and now I am wild I have become something I never imagined for myself I have become something I've never wanted to be never dreamed of being it feels so good to be alive and on top but I cry but I have so little but I'll become my parents and no matter what I do I'm always myself because you can never hide because you will always find yourself and you don't need to run away and you don't need to go to Europe you are always with yourself and you always act like yourself you just don't act how others envision you acting and it's not your job to act how other people picture you because they don't act how you picture them and you can hide and you can cry and you can sleep it all away but eventually you will find yourself and they will tell you they can tame you, that they own you, that they will freeze you and break you, but I am the ocean. I will spread myself like wings. I am a million tiny feathers. You have no idea what's happened to me.

t minus six and counting

2009-12-13T15:43:00.001-08:00

SOPHOMORE YEAR
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close

SUMMER BOOKS
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets
28.5. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
29. harry potter and the goblet of fire
30. a river runs through it

JUNIOR YEAR
31. bird by bird
32. the things they carried
33. the hunger games
34. zeitoun
35. an encyclopedia of an ordinary life
36. the key to the golden firebird
37. the wild things
38. the crucible
39. god bless you, dr. kevorkian
40. grapes of wrath
41. the mismeasure of man
42. v for vendetta
43. the scarlet letter
44. hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

to read:
44.5. hp5
45. hp6
45.5. hp7
46. some other .5 book
47. walk in the woods
48. catching fire
49. the restaurant at the end of the universe
50. life, the universe, and everything
51. so long and thanks for all the fish
52. mostly harmless

I'll probably end the year with my potters.

booklist -- 8 left!

2009-12-05T13:48:00.000-08:00

1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets
28.5. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
29. harry potter and the goblet of fire
30. a river runs through it
31. bird by bird
32. the things they carried
33. the hunger games
34. zeitoun
35. an encyclopedia of an ordinary life
36. the key to the golden firebird
37. the wild things
38. the crucible
39. god bless you, dr. kevorkian
40. grapes of wrath
41. the mismeasure of man
42. v for vendetta

I'm dying

2009-12-04T16:32:00.001-08:00

cough cough cough cough ow my head *blows nose* cough cough *blows nose* cough owww my head cough cough cough *blows nose* *blows nose* cough *blows nose*

best dream ever?

2009-11-23T10:27:00.001-08:00

Alright I know reading and talking about other people's dreams is dumb, but this one was pretty great.

Alright so I was Kim Possible, of course, and I was with Ron ~~mylover~~ and Rufus and we were at a YouTube gathering in some sort of underground cavern thing. My IRL friend Jennifer was also with us.

The ChartJackers -- namely Charlie, but they were all there -- stood on this elevated platform thing and there was this huge circlular device thing. Like the one in Avatar the Last Airbender that Aang had to open with his air bending. It was made of stone and there were a lot of different contraptions; it looked like something out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory except it wasn't made of chocolate (boo!). And there was some sort of rumor/legend behind the giant stone thing...

Apparently the ChartJackers decided they were archeologists and historians or something.

Anyway. The legend was that the giant stone thing would only work if the right eyes saw it. But the ChartJackers didn't believe in such a silly thing.

So we're in this cave which is in the middle of the ocean for some reason and there's one tube of light or something that shoots out into the sky and there the ChartJackers were, presenting the weird circular... thing. So they told us this legend thing and all the sudden all the pieces start moving because THE ONE saw it. It was my friend Jennifer. Anyway all the pieces are moving around and something/someone comes out of the stone and grabs Charlie and then GRABS RON! OH NO! and the thing/person flies away and the whole cave is coming down. There are a ton of people inside, YouTube vloggers and people who look like they belong at a fancy dinner party like in that Anaconda movie and everyone's screaming and luckily I'm Kim Possible so I pull out my hair dryer/whatever it is, grab Jennifer and Rufus, and we fly out of there somehow.

And for whatever reason, the person I'm most worried about is Kristina, italktosnakes, what have you. So there I am, Kim Possible, and I'm really upset about Ron not being there and I give a big pep talk to Jennifer and myself and Jennifer is apparently THE CHOSEN ONE and I'm all "I want Ron *cries with Rufus*"

And we're floating on a cloud in the middle of the ocean trying to figure out what the hell to do.

... then the dream ended or I woke up or something.

secrets secrets

2009-11-12T11:24:00.000-08:00

I've never TOLD anyone I have a tumblr.

I just started following people.

so here's my official announcement:
I HAVE A TUMBLR.
follow me if you want to it's not a big deal.

click

the future's coming soon

2009-11-09T15:43:00.000-08:00

1. get my license in order to drive
2. find a job to pay for insurance/gas to drive my car. also to pay for stuco camp/stuff/college. meeh.

yes I'm gonna get a job hopefully not at cinemark again but hey, they'll re-hire me and it wasn't THAT bad and yeah.

social lives are overrated. I'll work after school I guess and Saturday afternoons. that sounds good.

gotta grow up!

for the people who keep telling me I need to vent, here you go:

2009-11-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

what is that
that freaky thing
yes that's right it's a naked mole rat. ;)

so stressed, guys. if you care:

1) FreeLancer, the literary magazine of which I am a co-editor, is falling apart and I'm watching the pieces break. We're broke, have no submissions for the new issue, and interest is fading fast. Maaaah.

2) Can Drive is draining all my energy. So much work. So much stress.

3) Homework. Oh geez so much. Studying for calculus and reading entire chapters of American History in one night and having to read Grapes of Wrath and the Scarlet Letter and an "outside reading book" and a surprise Spanish test

4) I feel like I should be trying to keep up with my social life, or even my URL life, but I'm just not, and I'm ok with that, but I feel guilty not talking to people and stuff.

5) My phone was dead for almost a week before I got a new charger which really was not good because I felt bad enough not talking to people and so I was out of touch with a lot of people for a while which was not fun. Also it made it harder to manage my committee in StuCo.

6) I'd really, really, really like to have the ability to drive but I just have no time.

7) Mondays are always especially stressful. I get a lot of homework assigned those days and I volunteer at the library so after that I'm exhausted and have exaggerated amounts of work to do. /:

8) My room is still a fucking DISASTER. I need to clean it. I know it'll help clear my mind but I just... PRIORITIES. THEY SUCK.

The only thing keeping me sane is, ironically, NaNoWriMo. It's going pretty well. Need to get my count in for today. I'll do that now, actually.

Hope you enjoyed another episode of "Katy is a whiny pansyass."

books

2009-10-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

booklist:
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets
28.5. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
29. harry potter and the goblet of fire
30. a river runs through it
31. bird by bird
32. the things they carried
33. the hunger games
34. zeitoun
35. an encyclopedia of an ordinary life
36. the key to the golden firebird
37. the wild things
38. the crucible
39. god bless you, dr. kevorkian

currently reading:
the Grapes of Wrath
Scarlet Letter
The Mismeasure of Man

*kicks more ass*

moar books, nano prep

2009-10-16T21:06:00.001-07:00

booklist

2009-10-13T13:35:00.001-07:00

booklist:
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets
28.5. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
29. harry potter and the goblet of fire
30. a river runs through it
31. bird by bird
32. the things they carried
33. the hunger games
34. zeitoun
35. an encyclopedia of an ordinary life
36. the key to the golden firebird

C'mon Katy. You can do it.
Up next:
catching fire
walk in the woods
where the wild things are (Dave Eggers is coming out with a novel adaptation the same time as the movie [for which he helped write the screen play] [God I love that man.])

what I did today:

2009-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

1. woke up
2. went back to sleep
3. was woken up by mother, who asked if I was going to school.
4. didn't go to school.
5. slept.
6. woke up.
7. checked internet.
8. looked at homework.
9. internet.
10. read Grapes of Wrath.
11. made soup.
12. watched the Big Bang Theory.
13. ... internet, I think?
14. more Grapes of Wrath
15. contemplated sleeping.
16. watched Eastwick.
17. watched jpmetz.

currently: contemplating sleeping
watching jpmetz
contemplating doing calc and ahap homework.

some things:

2009-09-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

1. I have not been on the internet since 5 this morning.
2. I tried to conserve the battery on my phone by trying to text as little as possible past 3pm. It just died.
3. My friend saw a silvery white hair on my scalp at lunch. I was baffled and perplexed.
4. I've started to read Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life.
5. I'm currently composing an email to the author, Amy K. Rosenthal.
6. I'm not watching HIMYM and instead am "doing homework" which translates to "chatting on skype and also reading my book."

reasons today is unproductive:

2009-09-25T10:02:00.001-07:00

1. because I have to be productive in one hour and don't want to get TOO much done before I go.
2.

... I have no number two. that's how unproductive today is. I'm gonna take another nap. (Third one in the five hours I've been awake!)

booklist

2009-09-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

reasons I hate /talking/ about literature with opinionated people:

2009-09-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

because everyone is wrong and I'm right.

alright not really but c'mon. this is what I'm good at. this is what I /do./

I mean usually I can go off on my tangent and bitchslap everyone with words, but no, when you get the opinionated ones in the conversation, it's like "shut up, you're not Enlightened like I am." Yes, I'm full of myself, but I think this is one area where I can claim at least semi-expertise, you know?

I /get/ it. Things /click/ for me. It's like solving a math problem; it's like figuring out derivatives. And yes, they're the same. Figuring out the logic of a math problem is akin to figuring out the themes and symbolism of a piece of writing. There is, to a degree, a right answer.

If you look at Catcher in the Rye and try and use it as an excuse for killing John Lennon... NO. YOU'RE WRONG. You read it incorrectly. Try again. Minus $2000. No double Jeopardy for you.

It's a /hard/ math problem, I'll give you that, but if you're smart, you can figure it out.

Now, how you apply this symbolism and theme to your personal life -- that's a different story. That's something that doesn't belong in a classroom, not something that can be taught, but something you can do on your own. How a book makes you /feel/, makes you act, develops your take on life or whatever... that's the personal part of English, the part that math lacks. But to truly get that satisfaction of affecting your life, you have to get the first part down. You have to know what the author wanted you to take from it. You need to analyze the symbolism and imagery and metaphors and similes. You /have/ to, otherwise you won't really get it.

Maybe I can take this back to the math metaphor...

You have to know the unpractical part of math to get to the "real world" application. And usually, for the "real world" application, you don't need to get so... involved in the process.

Take All Quiet on the Western Front. It's really, painfully obviously an anti-war novel. It says it on the frickin' cover. But you take it, you analyze it, you learn the author's tone, you look at the symbolism, and you see the theme in all its glory. To get to the application, all you really needed to know was it was an anti-war novel, and determine whether or not you are going to take it to heart. Do you agree or disagree with the author? You only need the basic level, but to back yourself up, to really /learn/ from the novel, you need to get into the symbolism and metaphors and motifs. You need to look for allegories and know that diction is just as important as anything else.

Take /any/ book. Harry Potter. Hell, take Where the Wild Things Are. Take The Da Vinci Code or TWILIGHT, even. There are bits to be analyzed. There is something to /learn/. There's a theme to be gotten. There's an idea developed. There's a /reason/ the book was written, and I PROMISE it's /not/ just because the author was bored. Those books don't get published, those books have no substance.

Whether or not you agree or disagree with the idea is your opinion; what you take from the book is entirely personal. Personally, I disagree with the morals of Twilight. I think it's a shitty book. I don't think there's a lot of depth to it, and I don't think Smeyer was very subtle, but whatever. She is an author, she wrote a book, and I have an immense amount of respect for her. I do.

Now, she could probably stand to work on her narrative technique, which can and often does enhance the theme of the book.

Alright this is really long and rambly but whatever. This is what happens to me.

reasons I'm failing miserably at doing homework:

2009-09-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

1. it's a lot of work.
2. tumblr
3. skype
4. facebook
5. super mario brothers 3 for the NES
6. tired!

oh my school

2009-09-17T12:17:00.001-07:00

So Shawnee Mission East, my high school, is known for three things:

1. Being rich.
2. Being smart.
3. Drinking.

There are five high schools in the Shawnee Mission School District: North, South, East, West, and the oddball Northwest.

I don't know how familiar you blog readers are with the National Merit Society, based of PSAT/NMSQT, but basically, here's the rundown of semi-finalists for the NMS from my school district:

SM West: Four semi-finalists
SM South: two
SM Northwest: three
SM North: two
SM East: seventeen.

Sad part? I'm on first-name basis with half of them. And most of them get drunk every other night. And all of them are very, very well off. (The other ones are Asians... but even some of them like to get a little funky on Fridays.)

Way to live up to sterotypes, SME. ;)

booklist

2009-09-16T17:07:00.000-07:00

booklist:
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets
28.5. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban
29. harry potter and the goblet of fire
30. a river runs through it
31. bird by bird
32. the things they carried
33. the hunger games

less than sixteen weeks to read seventeen books. I CAN DO THIS.

reasons why blogging for class sucks a little bit:

2009-09-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

because I can't just do this and expect a good grade.

reasons you should never write for a class when you're emotional:

2009-09-13T20:37:00.001-07:00

Simplify, Simplify reflection paper
Annie Dillard -- weasels emulation

The day before I embarked on my four day adventure, I updated my twitter encouraging people to call me. The whole purpose was to get to know people a little better. A lot of my friends I communicate solely through skype and twitter, so it was going to be hard not talking to them for four days. But two days in, I hadn't gotten any phone calls. I wasn't bothered -- I have a life, other people have lives, but I was a bit disappointed. I got a few text messages, just saying "what's up?" and "how are you?" but those didn't mean too much.

Then after school, on the third day, almost immediately after I walked out of the building, my phone started ringing. I was expecting my mother, telling me to hurry to the car, or my brother, saying that he wasn't coming home and was headed to the pool, but it wasn't. It was my friend, Arka. He lives in Webb City, Missouri, about a two hour drive from here, and just called to honestly ask me how I was. I could not have been more pleased. Sure, I could barely hear him as I crossed 75th street on the way home, and I couldn't talk to him for more than five minutes, but just the fact that he made the effort to contact me, where so many others hadn't, made me feel good.

My experiment seems a bit selfish -- it was more of a find-who-likes-me-the-most game. I don't feel that the people who didn't call me are any lesser friends, who like me less than Arka, who called. But he did win some friend-points. Maybe it was a little self-indulgent, a little narcissistic of me to assume that people would love to call me and chat with me outside of this internet realm. I probably would have caved and jumped on twitter once I got home had I not gotten that phone call. I really missed them, my internet friends, these people who I have never seen and probably never will see, in person, face-to-face. But I can say that they have affected me more than anyone else in this school, more than the girl who sits in front of me in chemistry who tells me about the parties she's been to and how drunk and high she was the other night. They know me, I know them, and I'm proud to call them my friends.

day after.

2009-09-12T10:33:00.001-07:00

I don't think I properly remembered yesterday.

September 11th and all that.

It was a long time ago, or so it seems.

I was eight. I had no idea what was going on. I remember the TV in my living room was on when I walked downstairs -- when I still had my old room, when Ellie, my 9-year-old sister, was still little, when I didn't understand fractions and could still wait for Harry Potter book releases. I thought it was a movie -- I really did. I'd never heard of an explosion, of a real plane crash before, none of my relatives had ever died, and I see all the smoke coming off the building, and I didn't even know what it was.

What's an 8-year-old kid supposed to think when something like that happens? How's a parent supposed to react to that?

It's still this huge deal. I can't explain why. It became this rallying point for everyone. It sparked unfair anti-Muslim sentiment, but still united the country. It shattered America's innocence, I think. We're still young. Barely 200 years. (lol math, thanks Jules D:< ) We went from this group of old British men, united, formed ideas of liberty and justice and what we stand on today, and we boomed economically, and we were a "world superhero," and we've already gone through so much, but we've been lucky enough to never be attacked. No one's come here and picked a fight. We're secluded on an island... but that day shattered that.

I'm a proud American. I'm a proud capitalist. I love this fucking country, despite the McDonalds and the skinheads and the conservative farmers. We know how to rally around the important stuff.

There's all that shit going on, Will Smith, but look how we can combat it:

I'm gonna cry over there and read my depressing book about the Vietnam War.

twitterless and skypless. sneezes

2009-08-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

I love that within hours of colder weather, I get sick.

ugh I feel miserable and I can't tweet about it! What am I supposed to do!?

I love everyone who's called me so far. Seriously, it makes my day. I can't really carry a conversation because I feel like my head is about to explode and I have to sneeze every two seconds, but yeah. Love you all.

I started blogging for my school newspaper. I'll link you loyal readers to it when it goes live -- hopefully Wednesday.

And now fakecrazycrayon and fakesuchducks are following me on twitter... but I don't understand the joke because I haven't been on skype and I miss you guys!

I made a video-day-2 but I don't like it very much... the idea is funnier than the execution. So I'll just leave it with the one-day video... bleh. The blog's enough, rite?

minus twitter, minus skype.

2009-08-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

English project, but hopefully I'll get something out of it.

Four days. That's it.

I like it because I'll kinda see when people actually want to talk to me or if they just talk to me because I happen to be online. Twitter's just obscenely impersonal anyway.

So yeah, if you wanna talk to me, I'll still be around after school and such. Give me a call! Text me! Honestly, I'm not going to be busy. And if I am, I'll call you back. I like talking to people. :)

pineapple pal

2009-08-28T09:18:00.001-07:00

yeaaaah his name is Geoff.

booklist heeeeeeey

2009-08-18T19:31:00.001-07:00

end of summer.

2009-08-16T13:11:00.000-07:00

This blog is a tad illegal.

I promised myself I wouldn't go online until all my summer homework is done, but I just need to blog, it's a compulsive THING I HAVE TO DO, since SO MANY PEOPLE read it. ;)

I vlog on the 7AB but I hate getting too particular with what exactly I'm doing since it's, you know, boring. But I feel if you read my BLOG, something I'm actually proud of, I can share more you know specifics or whatever.

Though I don't like dwelling in the physical world, I prefer to transcend into my own you know emotions and stuff.

But a lot of particulars are going on. Specifically, school starting in two days. Fuck. I wasn't invited to the big-end-of-summer-blowout thing, but I don't really mind. I prefer spending my days with Darci and J-Lat and Emily and Megan, and then my e-pals.

Yes that is about the extent of my RL friend-land, don't judge me. I do have other friends, just not people I regularly hang out with and stuff.

Anyway, I have most of my school stuff all packed up in my backpack. I think I'm going to bring Darth to school every day and take notes on him, plus I'll need him for seminar and... other things, I'm sure.

I think it'll be a good school year. More than a few fun school projects through stuco, and I think I'm just generally happier. (:

Anyway back to homework. Guh.

SO MUCH SHIT.

2009-08-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

grrrrr.
I hate you all.

I've been you know busy and stuff and I have so much to do and I have to do a lot of stuff tomorrow and I don't want to and now I just have to go to bed but I'm all stressed but SOOOOOOOOO tired and yeah.

falling in love
falling in love
falling in love
with Hermione Granger

yup yup yup.

so basically today I was with my girl Darci and a bunch of her friends and it was fun and they were all really cool so I had a lot of fun and ate yummy food and wasn't bored even for a second even though we were with each other for so long and yeah that was awesome.

unfortunately I didn't get much done on the summer homework front, when my due date is drawing ever near as the thought of school is looming over my head... yikes!

I may or may not have a crush I'm not saying anything so don't try and get it out of me OK?!

and so tomorrow/today I'm going to Worlds of Fun (an amusement park with fun rides and stuff) so there goes MY day... I mean it'll be fun (WORLDS of fun haha) but still I need to get SHIT DONE YO.

and you all with your late night skype calls and me going on blogtv for no reason and bookworm videos to film jeez I'm not amazing I'm gonna be SO TIRED before school even starts!

just joshing I'll be just fine.

SHIT I never called Kyle like I said I would aww now I feel bad alright I'm going to bed love you.

this ramble of a blog is ridiculous and I apologize.

phony.

2009-08-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

He has absolutely no idea who I am, but his hand is on my thigh like we're friends, maybe more.

I was sitting, in my low-cut shirt, my short-shorts, my hair up and make-up covering my face. Legs crossed, chest mostly concealed by my book: Catcher in the Rye. A favorite of mine. Funny, because I'm the phoniest person alive.

It was in Starbucks, the phoniest place I'd ever seen. My shoes were from Wal-Mart, and I had braces when I was younger. I stuffed my bra until I was 17. I'm 19 now. In college, majoring in psychology, mostly because I think I need a psychologist.

He had a crew-cut, and a winner of a smile. He couldn't take his eyes off me, but he could certainly not keep them on my face.

He walked over with a plain, black coffee in hand - I'd heard him order. He had said, very clearly, "I want the biggest-size black coffee, no sugar, no fruity shit." Obviously he was compensating for something. There wasn't much in his pants, I would later discover. I feign omniscience, but really I don't know anything. Really, I'm just faking.

"I used to play soccer," he tells me. He did have nice calf muscles. I smiled, and said, "I preferred basketball." It was innocent, it was flirting. I shift my leg so he knows that he can't touch me there. Not yet, anyway.

I had put down my book, my favorite book, to talk to this guy, this phony, about sports. That was where my life was.

"Hey, I've read that book," he had said. Brilliant pick-up line. The follow up: "I don't remember much of it."
"Oh, it's quite good," I said, trying to make it seem as though I wasn't interested. I knew he'd pursue me anyway, at that point.
"I bet, a nice girl like reading it, it has to be good."

"Could I get your number?" he asks, his hand now off my thigh. I smile slyly, and pull a pen from behind my ear.

I looked like a typical product of the system, the Combine, the Establishment -- but it was just a nineteen-year-long experiment. I could look like this and attract attention, or I could look like the girls like me and attract nothing.

"My name's Chet."
"Mine's... Heather."

It wasn't Heather.

booklist yo.

2009-08-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

booklist:
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid
24. suite scarlett
25. breakfast of champions
26. walden
27. best american non-required reading 2007
27.5. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
28. harry potter and the chamber of secrets

I've decided that re-reads are worth half a book, if read within the past two years. So yeah.

Also I've deduced that I'm supposed to have about 30 books read thus far... not bad, not bad, but I'll have to keep up.

this is the story of my retainer and how I lost it.

2009-07-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

I had woken up prematurely in order to go to work at the nursery with a bunch of squealing, baby children who like to steal toys and whine and make me play with legos. Of course, I was not excited. I didn't have enough time to brush my teeth, and my retainer, Waldo, felt gross, so I took him out of my mouth and left him.

Upon returning home, smelling of stale cheerios and teen angst, I trudge my aching body upstairs and collapse in my bed. There's a pain in my upper thigh, and at first I'm too tired to care. Then I decide that there must be something under my thigh (my bed is the home of several shirts, dresses, books, gum wrappers, a pay check, a dollar, and poptarts wrappers), and it turns out to be Waldo. I push him out from under my thigh, pull up the covers, and fall asleep.

Upon waking up, I fling the blanket off myself, unaware of the time or where I am. Disoriented and still exhausted, I hear a "clunk!" and discover Waldo MISSING.

Still exhausted, I'm too tired to care about the missing Waldo and trudge downstairs. I eat or something. I dance or something. I watch TV or something. Hard to say for sure, but eventually I walk back upstairs and realize, "Fuck. I don't have Waldo."

There is no conclusion for this blog, as Waldo is still lost, somewhere in my room. Perhaps he was eaten by my pillows. Maybe the rats under my bed decided to take it as their captive until I fulfill their ridiculous demands (they want an 24 hour all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet, and also all the pigeons to return to their rightful place on land. Either that or they want to have wings... yeah right, you filthy rats). I'm not sure where he is. I can only hope he's safe, waiting for the reunion with my mouth...

--------

This has been my 100th blog post. Now I'm going to look for Waldo.

the best play ever

2009-07-22T20:47:00.000-07:00

Note: For my performance class in eighth grade, we did doing a play, but the only one our teacher could find was 30 minutes long, and she wanted to to be only 20 minutes. She gave the job to moi to cut it down, and, well, I pretty much totally edited to be Katy-fied. Hope you like it. ;D Anything in parenthesis is something the actor has to do. Sorry it's so awful.

Scaredy Cat

Characters:
GREG COLLIER, a private detective
HELEN PORTER, an actress – beneficiary in Leo Porter’s will
TOM DIXON, sarcastic – beneficiary in Leo Porter’s will
CYNTHIA MEADOWS, an aristocrat – beneficiary in Leo porter’s will
MR. FLEMING, executor of Porter estate
MS. MEGGS, housekeeper
BILL LAYTON, family black sheep
SUSIE, Cynthia’s maid

TIME: Late evening
SETTING: The drawing room of Leo Porter’s mansion
AT RISE: HELEN, TOM, CYNTHIA, and MR. FLEMING are seated in a semicircle, hands joined, at table downstage right, holding a séance. A lighted floor lamp stands next to table. Thunder and occasional gusts of wind are heard from offstage.

HELEN: Uncle Leo, can you hear me? (Pause) Uncle Leo, are you here with us? Can you give us a sign? (Thunder is heard; a cat screams. Greg comes on stage right with a large cat in his arms and flicks a light switch. Lights come on, Helen and Cynthia jump to their feet)
Cynthia: Oh, Gregory, you’ve ruined the séance, and on earth did that cat come from?
Tom: Cousin Cynthia, don’t be so hostile. Greg, won’t you join us on our creep-tastic way of communicating to the dead?
Helen: Oh, Tom, do be quiet, and respect Uncle Leo’s wishes.
Tom: You know you’re glad. What’s the point of this séance, anyway?
Fleming: It specified to do this in your uncle’s will. I wouldn’t question it.
Helen: Nor would I.
Tom: I wouldn’t trust anything in that will; it says Uncle Leo left 50,000 dollars to that cat! (Tom points to the cat in Greg’s arms)
Fleming: Your uncle was rather fond of Mr. Timothy-
Helen (cutting him off): As he should be. None of us have visited Uncle Leo in years!
Cynthia: I have an excuse! I was abroad!
Tom: Oh, Cynthia, you doll, I’m sure it was perfectly planned that our dear, sweet Uncle fell ill and died whilst your travels ended. You came running when you heard he left you some cash.
Cynthia: Oh, you think you’re so clever, Thomas. I’m sure you’re going to just give away your legacy.
Tom: Of course! It’s all going to the “Buy-Tom-a-Beach-House” fund for starving African babies.
Cynthia (yawning): Oh, ha ha. I’m going upstairs. I do wish this place wasn’t so terribly understaffed, Mr. Fleming.
Fleming: Well, Ms. Meggs is the only staff member, and she’s off visiting her sister who fell ill.
Helen: Oh, Ms. Meggs, I do miss her.
Cynthia (distracted): Oh, yes yes, Ms. Meggs, Ms. Meggs. I’m rather glad I brought Susie along, though. Come along, Tom.
Tom (sarcastically): Oh, my cousin, I would follow you anywhere! (They exit stage right)
Fleming: Well, aren’t they a pair?
Helen: An awful pair, indeed.
Fleming: Well, I’d best feed Mr. Timothy-he’s a very expensive cat, you know. (He exits stage left)
Greg: It’s just us now, I see.
Helen: I’ve been meaning to ask you. What are you doing here? I know about your little detective company. What’s this about?
Greg: I seem to be caught. You do realize how valuable Mr. Timothy is, don’t you?
Helen: I do, but why is that important?
Greg: People have been killed for less than 50,000 dollars, Helen. Mr. Fleming hired me to protect that precious cat’s hide. (Tom enters stage left with a Popsicle)
Tom: Aloha, senor, senorita.
Helen (confused): What happened with Cynthia? Where’d you get that Popsicle?
Tom: Her? Oh, I left her. Too much whining. Got the Popsicle out of the freezer. I just wanted to interrupt this very important almost-becoming-flirty dialogue with some even more important news.
Greg: That news would be… (Tom swallows the entire Popsicle.)
Tom: Mr. Timothy’s name would shorten to Mr. T. Just thought I should mention it. (Tom exits stage right)
Helen: That Tom. He never grew up.
Greg: Well, I’d better get to my job. (He winks at Helen. The two exit right. Susie enters left, sneakily, and peers around, then beckons to someone offstage. Bill enters)
Susie: I think you’re safe. Everyone’s upstairs: I’d better get there soon.
Bill: That Cynthia. She couldn’t tie her own shoes. (Susie giggles, but catches herself and straightens her blouse)
Susie: Well, she’s not so bad.
Bill: It sure was brave o’ you to sneak me in de basement, my dear.
Susie: It was nothing. Just don’t tell anyone it was me.
Bill: Oh, sure.
Susie: It was even braver of you to come back, knowing the family hates you. You lost your inheritance!
Bill: I had to come back, but not for the inheritance. Just to prove that I care about everyone and I miss them.
Susie: Oh, how noble! (Knocking is heard stage left. Susie looks around, panicked. She looks to Bill for support, eyes wide and mouth agape.)
Bill: Answer it! Just don’t let anyone see me!
Susie: Quick! Behind the drapes!
Bill: Yes, excellent plan! (Bill dashes behind the drapes, concealing himself. His feet are shown, but he hides them with a broom. Susie answers the door, Ms. Meggs comes onstage. She bows to Susie and removes her soaking wet coat and places her two suitcases on the ground next to the drapes, further concealing Bill’s feets.)
Meggs: Oh, what an awful night. An awful, awful, awful night.
Susie: Yes, indeed, ma’am. Thunderous and lightening-ous.
Meggs (laughing): Oh, how clever of you. Who are you and what is your business here?
Susie: I’m Susie, Miss Cynthia’s maid.
Meggs: Cynthia Meadows, yes, the name is quite familiar. I haven’t seen her, or any of the other children, in nearly 15 years!
Susie: So, are you Ms. Meggs?
Meggs: Oh, how rude of me. Yes, I’m Ms. Meggs.
Susie: I thought Mr. Fleming said you sister was ill and you were with her and couldn’t be here.
Meggs: Oh, Hazel, yes, that dearie-dearie-dear. She wasn’t ill at all! (Annoyed) The wire must’ve been sent by a practical joker! And I was needed so badly by you and my precious Adeline! How I’d like to get my hands on him! I’d ring his neck and hang his head as a trophy in my room.
Susie: That’s… violent.
Cynthia (offstage, in sing-song-manner): Suuusaaana, oh SUSAAAAAAAANNA!
Susie: That’s Ms. Cynthia. I best tend to her. (Susie looks at the drapes, hoping Bill understands. She begins yelling to make sure he knows) I’M LEAVING TO TEND TO MS. CYNTHIA NOW!
Meggs (slightly offended): My, dear, I’m not that old. Go on, I can take care of myself.
(Susie, embarrassed, bows slightly and exits stage right. Ms. Meggs removes her hat and places it on the rack next to her coat. She picks up her suitcase and notices the broom behind the drapes. Puzzled, she begins to think aloud.)
That’s odd. Brooms shouldn’t be behind drapes.
(Bill, scared, shifts around, revealing his feets. Ms. Meggs, curious, looks behind the draperies, and opens her mouth wide. Bill steps out from behind the curtains, head down in shame. Ms. Meggs, dramatically, while pointing at Bill, exclaims…)
BILL LAYDON, THE FAMILY BLACK SHEEP!
(Dramatic music – bum bum buuuum! – plays as Bill Laydon bows slightly.)
Bill: Yes, it is I.
Meggs: What on Earth are you doing here? I thought you were disowned! Forgotten! Away on random travels!
Bill: Well, I certainly haven’t been forgotten…
Meggs (with laughter): Well, how nice of you to join! (She hugs him, forgivingly.) Have you seen everyone else?
Bill: You found me behind a curtain. What do you think?
Meggs (continuing laughter): I see, well, let’s go join them. Oh, but first, I’d best get something out of my room.
Bill: What do you need?
Meggs: After your uncle’s death, I felt quite alone, so I ordered a license for a gun.
Bill: My, Ms. Meggs! You certainly aren’t the quiet old lady I thought you had become! (Ms. Meggs smiles devilishly and takes Bill’s arm)
Meggs: Let us be off! (They exit stage right. Clocks chime 11. Storm sounds are made. Helen and Greg enter stage right.)
Helen: (makes grunting noises) Mr. Fleming insists we perform that awful séance again. That just creeps me out.
Greg: Understandable. I think I’d best leave Mr. Timothy in his box by the stove, shouldn’t I?
Helen: I suppose. Will he wander?
Greg: No, Mr. Fleming says Mr. Timothy only stays in the kitchen and he used to go in the summerhouse.
Helen: Yes, I heard it burned down. Was Mr. Timothy hurt?
Greg: When I asked Mr. Fleming about it, he didn’t say anything. But he did chuckle a bit to himself…
Helen: Well, that’s weird. (Gunshots and screams are heard offstage. Greg runs off right, head turned toward the noise. Cynthia, Tom, and Susie appear from behind the curtain-center.) What happened?
Cynthia (out of breath): I heard gunshots and freaked out! Luckily, Tom and Susie were there to keep me from passing out! Ooh, I do wish I brought along some of my mineral water. I’m parched.
Tom (excited): Yeah, it was so weird! We were upstairs, and from the room next to ours, there were gunshots! Some girl screamed, and there were two “clunks” as people hit the ground!
Helen: Greg’s up there now!
Tom (sarcastically): Wow! How brave! Run in the face of danger, it is a sign of nobility! (Mr. Fleming appears from stage right, grabbing onto Bill’s right arm.)
Cynthia: William??!
Helen: Bill!
Tom (who was looking the opposite direction, turning to face Mr. Fleming and Bill): Huh?
Cynthia: William Layton. Our long-lost-cousin. Don’t you ever pay attention?
Tom (sadly): Not since I got off the drugs.
Cynthia: Cut it out. Be serious. What happened, Mr. Fleming?
Fleming: When I heard the gunshots, I rushed to the room where I heard them. I found Ms. Meggs on the floor, and Bill was passed out.
Bill: I didn’t do anything.
Cynthia: I thought Ms. Meggs was with her sister.
Tom: Who cares?! There’s a dead old bat on the floor!
Susie: How do you know she’s dead? (Greg enters right)
Greg: He’s right! She’s dead!
Helen: How horrible!
Cynthia: Dreadful!
Bill: Awful!
Tom (speaking quickly and precisely): Depressing! Alarming! Shocking! Atrocious! Pick your interjection!
Cynthia: Tom! Please! Bill, did you kill her?
Bill: Me? Of course not! There’s no motive, no nothing!
Cynthia: Why were you with her? Why are you here?
Tom: Yeah! Why were you with her? Why are you here?
Bill: I came to tell you all—
Susie (cutting him off): He came to tell you all—.
Bill (cutting her off): I came to tell you all that I still love all of you and don’t care about Uncle Leo’s money and I’m not afraid!
Susie: Oh, how noble! (Susie latches on to Bill)
Cynthia: Oh, Susana!
Tom (slaps his knee and begins playing imaginary banjo and singing): Oh, Susana, don’t you cry for me, ‘cuz I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee! (Helen totally slaps Tom upside the head.)
Cynthia (after a short, awkward pause): (cough) Oh, Susana! I don’t believe this!
Susie: Believe it!
Tom: NARUTOOOO! (Helen slaps him again)
Susie: I have a private life! I’ve known Bill Layton for quite some time, and you know what? You can forget your stuck-up little attitude and find yourself a new maid, because IIIII QUIT! (Tom applauds, Susie makes small bow)
Greg: Enough! We’d best call the police!
Tom: Yeah, the fuzz’ll save us!
Helen: Oh, Ms. Meggs! I can’t understand why anyone would want to kill her!
Greg: I can’t understand why she was home in the first place!
Bill: Well, when she came through the door, she said that she never got a telegram from her sister, and didn’t know where it came from.
Susie: Yeah, I remember that. Hazel wasn’t sick at all!
Greg: Why were you with her, Bill?
Bill: Well, Ms. Meggs was crazy-paranoid and had a gun and wanted to get it. Then we went to her room, and someone hit me on the back of the head and I fell over unconscious. Then, I guess Ms. Meggs got shot by her own gun.
Greg: Yeah, you do have a pretty nasty looking bruise on the back of your head.
Susie: Oh, you poor thing! How noble!
Tom (mocking): How noble!
Bill: That’s the truth, Greg. What do we do from here?
Fleming: Well, things don’t look too good for you, Bill. First of all, you weren’t invited here anyway and have a motive for killing as you get no money in the will. But Ms. Meggs didn’t share in the will, so that doesn’t make much sense. I guess you’re kind of safe there. But you were found next to our poor victim.
Susie: Bill did not kill Ms. Meggs.
Bill: I did not kill Ms. Meggs. (Susie looks alluringly at Bill, eyes a-flutter)
Greg: Did Ms. Meggs say anything else besides the fact her sister was not ill? Anything at all?
Bill: Well…
Greg: Well what?
Susie: She mentioned something about Adeline and how she was needed by Adeline.
Cynthia: Who’s Adeline?
Tom (Baha Men style): Yeah, who? Who? Who?
Helen: Tom, for real, be serious.
Tom: Sorry Helen, that’s just not my thing. (Helen sighs and shrugs)
Greg: Well, I’m going to check upstairs in Ms. Megg’s room for anything suspicious. (Greg leaves stage right)
Helen: Wait for me! I want to help! (She chases after him)
Cynthia: I don’t understand. Who’s Adeline?
Tom: Oh, I don’t know, probably some creepy old lady-type friend who Ms. Meggs has over every Tuesday for some poker and potato chips. (Cynthia gives Tom “shut up” look and then looks at Susie)
Cynthia: Susana, for real, who do you think Adeline is?
Susie: I don’t know. It’s not Ms. Megg’s sister: that’s Hazel. Do you think… no, it’s impossible…
Bill: What?
Susie: Well… I snuck you in here, right, Bill? Well… what if… someone… else… (Susie’s takes deep breaths as her speaking slows)
Cynthia: Wait, are you saying someone else could be here?! Hiding?! Amongst us?!
Fleming: I assure you, that’s quite impossible.
Susie: But what if…
Fleming: No. I assure you; no one can get into this house without my knowledge or help from the inside.
Bill: Well, what if someone is helping from the inside?
Cynthia (defensively): What, are you accusing me? Is that what you’re doing, William? I knew it! I knew it! You hate me, you hate me; you’re getting back at me for all my years of beating you in croquet!
Tom: Holy inferiority complex, Cynthia! Man, you’re really worked up about this. That’s kinda funny. I thought you were some huge underwater basket-weaving fan.
Bill: Cynthia, I was not accusing you.
Tom: Yeah, he was not accusing you.
Cynthia: Well, you wouldn’t accuse your precious Susie, would you? No. And Tom, everyone knows he can’t think!
Tom: I resent that.
Cynthia: And… Mr. Fleming… (A look of realization appears on Cynthia’s face. Helen and Greg enter from behind curtain-center.)
Helen: Look at what Greg and I found!
Tom: A saucer! Does it fly? (Mr. Fleming looks around suspiciously, then sneaks out stage left.)
Greg: No, it’s a saucer for milk. For a cat. Look, there’s still a bit of milk on the side. We found it in Ms. Megg’s room, next to her corpse.
Helen: I have a few questions for Mr. Fleming… where did he go? (Greg starts talking to Tom, Bill, and Susie about Mr. Fleming’s crime in a very low whisper. Focus on Cynthia and Helen.)
Cynthia: Why do you need to ask him questions?
Helen: I think… (her voice lowers to a whisper) I think Mr. Fleming killed Ms. Meggs, and Mr. Timothy! (Cynthia almost screams, but Helen covers her mouth) Greg and I figure Mr. Fleming set the summerhouse on fire then sent Ms. Meggs away, but when she came back, he killed her! When I looked at Mr. Timothy, I realized it wasn’t a “Mr.”! (Cynthia gasps, and begins fanning herself with her hand. Greg and Tom join them, center-stage.)
Cynthia (in regular voice): Where is Mr. Fleming?
Tom: I think I saw him sneakily slip out the back door! Let’s go get him!
Greg: Here, here! (They all run off stage left. Mr. Fleming enters stage right, scared. Tom, Cynthia, Helen, and Greg all enter stage right, out of breath.)
Helen (slightly panting): We’ve got you now, you fiend!
Cynthia: Yeah! We know you killed Ms. Meggs!
Fleming: Me? That’s impossible, for you see… (he turns his back to the audience, puts on an alien mask, and turns back to them) I am an alien! (Mr. Fleming makes strange “ooh”s and “aah”s to scare the four people away)
Tom: PLOT TWIST! (Bill takes a step toward the alien.)
Bill: I’m not afraid of you!
Fleming: Keep back! I’ll sick my alien-type animals on you!
Bill: I’m going to get you!
Susie: Oh, how noble! (Susie is mocked by Tom. Mr. Fleming pulls out an alien-looking ray gun and shoots it at Bill. Bill ducks and flings himself at Fleming, pushing him to the ground. Fleming’s mask comes off, revealing his human face once again)
Helen: That’s no alien! Tom, Bill, grab him! Take him to the cupboard under the stairs! I’ll call the cops!
Tom: Well, that was totally anticlimactic… let’s go, partna’. Bill, you can stay here with your little girlfriend. (Tom winks and exits with Fleming in his arms stage right. Susie clings onto Bill)
Susie: That was the bravest thing I ever saw. I was so scared. (Susie looks longingly into Bill’s eyes)
Bill: Don’t mention it.
Cynthia: You aren’t hurt, are you? I suppose I owe you an apology, William. You saved us all.
Bill: It’s okay; it wasn’t a real ray gun, anyway.
Helen: It’s a shame you were written out of Uncle’s will. Wait, I’ve got it… you can have Mr. Timothy’s share!
Cynthia: That’s fine with me!
Bill: No, really, I couldn’t take the money… (Tom appears from behind the curtain-center)
Tom: I’ll take it!
Cynthia: Thomas, this is William’s time to shine. Is Mr. Fleming taken care of?
Tom: He won’t be getting out of THAT closet anytime soon. Not that he’d want to, though.
Cynthia: Well, I knew Mr. Fleming was behind that whole murder. I figured it out all by myself. But I’m still confused. Who’s Adeline?
Helen: It’s Mrs. Megg’s cat; the one Mr. Fleming told us was Mr. Timothy.
Greg: Well, that’s another mystery solved. I’ll see you guys later.
Cynthia: Toodles, Gregory! (Greg hugs Cynthia, then Helen, shakes hands with Tom and Bill, and waves goodbye to Susie, then exits right. Curtain closes.)

IT’S THE END!

katy vs the wallet

2009-07-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

Katy: ZOMG PSYCH SEASON 3 IS OUT TODAY.
Wallet: ...
Katy: WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
Wallet: No.
Katy: BUT I NEEEEEEED IT!
Wallet: No. No you don't.
Katy: WHAT ABOUT SEASON 1 AND SEASON 2?!
Wallet: Definitely no. You need to save up for the Office season 5.
Katy: BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT.
Wallet: Also, you want a car, right?
Katy: Well, yeah...
Wallet: And you want LeakyCon 2011... and college... and you like buying books A LOT...
Katy: Yes, I do... Where are you going with all this?
Wallet: Look, you like doing and owning expensive things. Psych isn't in the budget right now--
Katy: WHAT BUDGET. I have, like, six hundred bucks!
Wallet: Plane tickets cost money. And you want to go to college, right?
Katy: Why are you so mean to me?
Wallet: I'm just logical.

grrrr.

bloop.

2009-07-20T15:16:00.000-07:00

booklist, +2

2009-07-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

ignore the ugliness of my blog right now... I'm working on it :X

booklist:
1. everything is illuminated
2. the average american male
3. inferno
4. life of pi
5. othello
6. all quiet
7. slaughterhouse-5
8. a separate peace
9. wizards (collection of short stories)
10. cat's cradle
11. with the old breed
12. one flew over the cuckoo's nest
13. 13 little blue envelopes
14. extremely loud and incredibly close
15. youtube: an insider's guide to climbing the charts
16. timequake
17. how we are hungry
18. liberation
19. mcsweeney's book of lists
20. the bermudez triangle
21. running with scissors
22. you shall know our velocity!
23. the life and times of the thunderbolt kid

Now I'm going to start doing my summer-English-homework reading... bleh.

Also, resolutions I updated on twitter but not here:

9) Appreciate people. Let them know when something they've done has affected me. Say thanks for seemingly trivial things.
10) Give unasked advice.

what the past few hours have amounted to:

2009-07-10T10:18:00.001-07:00

opinion piece -- online journalism "practice" writing.

George Washington Carver - scientist, botanist, educator, and inventor - is famed for his many discoveries involving that useful little nut we've grown accustomed to: the peanut. Peanuts are high in protein, the "good kind" of fat, and are just generally tasty. Though sometimes they can leave that feeling in your mouth - the one leaving you salivating, with a need for water or a nice soda, - it seems the general opinion is that peanuts are awesome.

There are some, however, who don't find peanuts quite so "awesome."

There are those who are allergic, those who are still worked up over the peanut butter salmonella scare and those who find the choleric intake too much to handle. Being allergic is one thing, but the other two claims are ridiculous. If we, as a human species, were to be perpetually afraid of every product ever infected by salmonella, we'd have nothing left to eat! Well, nothing delicious, anyway.

Personally, I am a big fan of peanuts. Writing this article makes me hungry for a big jar of peanut butter and a spoon - no other products necessary. And peanuts are the perfect snack food, according to four people at bestuff.com.

And another great thing about peanut butter? Pine Cone Bird Feeders! Endless entertainment, and it costs practically nothing.

So whether you're looking for a tasty snack or some great fun, peanuts and their byproducts (most of which were invented by George Washington Carver) are great things to consider.

MUSE OMG!

2009-07-08T08:59:00.001-07:00

and I will dance.

I will dance on the highest building, when the world is falling apart,
I will dance as the waves come in, crushing all, suffocating,
And while the world is sleeping,
waiting for doom,
hearing the sirens,
knowing the end is near,
not willing to accept their fates,
not willing to take on their destinies,
I will know the time has come and I will dance.

------------

kansas -

when I stand here, see the plains stretched across for miles and miles,
I see straight into the future, see straight into the past.
I need to escape this constant plane of time,
where all is visible.
it s t r e t c h e s so far, but not far enough:
I want to know more about past and future,
I want to know what's coming, I try and find,
search for answers, frantically,
terrified of what's to come, of what I've done.

but when mountains surround me,
I find peace.

------------

People always claim that nature is calming.
I have my doubts.
You've heard the birds chirping into the late night, all hours of the day, constantly fearing for their lives, for their safety, hungry and searching and calling out to others? The birds aren't calmed, they're alert.
And you've seen the ants, always busy, always working.
And the flies and bugs and beetles: always buzzing, even at five in the morning, getting in the way and becoming a nuisance.
And walking in nature -- not a walk in a park. Not even a walk in the park is a walk in the park. It takes concentration, focus, no time to let thoughts wander. Look out, a stray stick, a stray rock! Head's up, dog shit, horse shit. That rock looks loose, that one seems safe, tread with caution.
This is not peace.
This is chaos, this is nature.

more resolutions.

2009-07-07T08:24:00.001-07:00

I was talking to my friend Jennifer yesterday, reflecting on my camp experience, she reflected on her high school career and her camp experience from the previous year. She said something that really inspired me.

"I don't do 'big problems,' you know? I do little things. This past year, I made an effort to know everyone in StuCo. I would wave at the freshmen and make myself recognizable and known so that we, as a student body, would feel more connected and more like a 'club.'"*

Sometimes that's all anyone needs. Someone to reach out and make themselves available, and I know how cool I felt with her as one of my friends: exec board senior student council member. I mean, not everyone needs to tackle cancer or support the Invisible Children, and while those causes are amazing and admirable, what Jennifer was doing was just as beneficial, just on a smaller scale. So my eighth resolution mirrors hers:

8) Make an effort to get to know everyone in student council. Reach out to the freshman, offer my support and guidance to anyone who wants/needs it.

It's still hard for me to not be at camp, to not constantly talk about it; I can't even listen to my DFTBA Records Compilation album because the only thing I've been able to stand is the mix CD Kyle (one of my junior counselors) made for everyone.

*no, my memory isn't that good. I paraphrased pretty sufficiently. But I made her sound pretty awesome, amirite? <3

camp resolutions.

2009-07-06T06:23:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if I can make myself do a whole camp-run-down thing... it's just so hard to express everything I felt that week in just words, all the people I met in just words, all the things we did in just words. I could try, but everything we experienced is so intangible, and even if I explain it... I don't know. It's not the same, I guess.

Anyway. Here are a few resolutions I'm taking with me from camp:

1) Waking up early to squeeze as much out of a day as is possible.
2) Getting more involved in community service and volunteering.
3) Making sure everything I do has purpose and meaning.
4) "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who come alive." - Howard Thurman
5) Remaining in the same mindset as I was in camp.
6) Continuing to be a "stuco kid."
7) Keeping a positive, optimistic attitude, and trying to smile as much as possible.

----

"The people at camp are the role models of society - the genuinely good people. The people who wave to strangers on park benches and always say thank you to bus drivers and garbage men and flight attendants; who have passions and aspirations and want to change the world, or at least a small part of it. The ones who love deeply and honestly; who put their hearts into everything they do, who you can't help but like even after the stories of Friday night's party.

I can honestly say I grew so much as a person, that I'm less selfish and better prepared to take on the world. My goals seem tangible, intentional, and that I'm able to accomplish them."

-- camp journal reflections excerpt, from the plane, July 5th 2009

leaving.

2009-06-29T07:32:00.001-07:00

*sigh*

I'll miss you, blogosphere.
I'll miss you, skype.
I'll miss you, facebook (even though you continuously make my computer freeze...).
I'll miss you, Nerdfighteria.

Leaving tomorrow. This is my last day home. MAKE CONVERSATIONS HAPPEN! Specifically, call me on skype so I can pack and chat! Text me! E-mail me at karatetentacles@gmail.com so I can tell you where to send CARE PACKAGES!

See y'all on Sunday the fifth.

WTF BUSY?!

2009-06-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

Seriously. What is this nonsense. I'm BUSY. I have a LIFE. I hate this.

Today:
Darci-time. (10:30-3ish?)
Work. (4:30-11)
Skype PAR-TAY! (no sleep)

Saturday:
Sleep late.
Work (4:30-11)
Cousin's birthday party

Sunday:
Movie with Kaiha. (1:30-3:30?)
Work (4:30-11)

Monday:
Mom's birthday; we're seeing Up.
Pack for camp

Tuesday-next Saturday:
camp

Sigh. No internets for those days I'm at camp. I'll live, right? I probably won't have twitter 24/7, but I'll be able to check them at night and during breaks and what not. Text me and I'll try to text you back. Send me care packages!! If you want the address, e-mail me:
karatetentacles@gmail.com

I'm making my packing lists now. Gotta get ready to rock the ~~night~~ morning/early afternoon away with Dar. ;)

something personal.

2009-06-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don't list names):

10. You have absolutely no idea how lost I'd be without you.
9. Yes, I like you, and you're dating, so quit rubbing it in my face.
8. Please please please leave me the fuck alone. I do not like you.
7. If there were stairs around, you would be pushed down them.
6. I feel like something's missing, and I know it's because we don't talk anymore.
5. Every time I see something you post on facebook, I want to comment on it, but I can't imagine how awkward that would be.
4. We need to hang out. I know I've found a friend in you, but we need to make things happen.
3. I wish you knew those feelings for you never went away, and that's why I whore around you all the time.
2. I'd be more willing to talk to you if every time you were in rehab, it actually made a difference.
1. Thanks for putting up with me. I know it's hard sometimes.

9 things about yourself:

9. I'm nearly impossible to put up with.
8. I force my ideas down everyone's throats, but I appreciate disagreements.
7. I've chosen love and work.
6. I love Harry Potter.
5. I love popsicles.
4. Sometimes, I wish I could be more of a teenager.
3. Other times, I'm glad I'm not.
2. I read a lot. It makes me happy, and I like the escape.
1. Even if I have no idea what to say, I can manage to ramble.

8 ways to win your heart

8. Being a nerd.
7. Loving Holden and Harry.
6. Reading my blog.
5. Have a good sense of humor.
4. Understand my humor.
3. Understand my awkward people-person skills.
2. Listen to me whine, and don't be afraid to whine back.
1. Be attractive. Whoops, that's shallow.

7 things that cross your mind.

7. My retainer is far too fun to take in and out of my mouth.
6. This gum smells good. I want some.
5. *chew chew chew chew*
4. I'm too tired to do this.
3. Why is music not playing?
2. TOO LOUD!
1. When you look at you and me, we're different, different as can be...

6 things you wish you never did:

6. Told my mom that something she was wearing looked silly, even though she was finally branching out and trying something different and I literally laughed at her.
5. Signed up for that programming in Java class.
4. Dated that boy.
3. Let it get so far with that boy.
2. Watched HP the Musical. (LIES!)
1. Started working at Cinemark :P

Five turn offs:

5. Obnoxious laughs.
4. Excessive whiny-ness.
3. Squinty eyes. I do not live in a desert.
2. Beef jerky.
1. Crying.

Four turn ons:

4. Red hair. *shrug*
3. Harry Potter references.
2. Intelligence/big vocabulary.
1. Egocentric assholes. Don't ask me.

Three smileys that describe your life:

3. ;D
2. :*
1. :{)

Two things you want to do before you die:

2. See my name on the spine of a book.
1. Adopt Cambodian (or Guatemalan) babies.

One confession:
If I say something more than once, it's not a joke anymore.

awesome things:

2009-06-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

1) Nine hour shift at work? LULZ it was actually OK. I built it up to be so awful and traumatizing in my head, but it really wasn't that bad. It was an OK night overall.

2) HP the Musical. Just... youtube-it if you haven't seen it. Worth every hour.

3) NO MOAR BRACEFACE ZOMG AWESOMESAUCE. I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY.

4) Listening to Zefron sing High School Musical songs... shush, I'm allowed. Soarin, flying...

5) An Awful Lot of Running music video

6) You Shall Know Our Velocity!, which I am currently reading.

7) Not having braces. That just feels so awesome.

8) Ministry of Magic. They make my jubilant mood even better (:

kaydone.

new job

2009-06-20T08:17:00.001-07:00

I think I'm gonna quit my Cinemark job. And go work at Baskin Robins. It'll be awesome.

one twenty one.

2009-06-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

Today was sufficiently less book-filled than days prior.

I made a video in which I vlog like Romeo, of "and Juliet" fame.

I used that joke on three separate occasions today. I just think I'm so clever. Speaking of reveling-in-my-own-cleverness, I started editing my NaNo novel from last November, and god damn it's like... GOOD. (As in, I have some pretty good theme/symbolism going on!) I feel like with a LOT of polishing, including a LOT of outside help, it could actually be a somewhat decent novel! Not publishable... not until a few years being cut up into tiny pieces and reassembled into something awesome, at least.

There's a quote from Vonnegut's Timequake I feel would work well right about now, but I can't find it... ugh. This is disappointing. IT WAS SO WELL WORDED AND WOULD WORK SO NICELY AND IT'S NOT ON THE INTERNET. Uggggggh.

Oh. Found it.

How the hell did I do that?

Oh Vonnegut. You make me so happy.

I should not be awake right now. I'm going out with Darci all day tomorrow. But I have to finish this journalism thing and just... sort of don't want to. :P So here I am, blogging. And the thing is, I'm actually tired. Sigh. And I keep effing playing Dynomite. Uggggggh.

In other news. I get my braces off on Monday. SO MUCH ECSTASY! (:

karatetentacles

blogging.

my eye itches

beda 18: school is the worst.

beda 17: allow me to be angsty.

beda 16: last day.

blog 15: the end... almost.

beda 14: a blog about sharks

beda 13: butterflies

beda 12: broke.

beda 10: sneezing

beda 11: people vs characters

beda 9: shove it.

beda 8: lots of tangents

beda 7: sleep

beda 6: books, because I'm tired

beda 5: teeth and blood buckets

beda 4: zefron

beda 3: ummm

beda 2: eh whatever

beda 1: shut up I'm a day late ok

sort of annoyed.

I thought this was funny

booklist update

a false image. and some books.

NO REGRETS

excuses? nah.

i will regret publishing this i bet.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

some lists

reminiscing

~I love booklists~

sorry my blogs are boring; booklist

booklist 2010

Disney quotes I try to work into everyday conversation:

a blig, blog, a bliggity blog

BOOKLIST 2010 BRO

alphabet??

I wish I could live my life only quoting McSweeney's

an open letter to those who "hate America"

HOW TO: Create a Socially Awkward Atmosphere

Every day of my life:

Dodger and Betsey

things

life

me defining the word "legendary" for my 8-year-old sister:

2010: so far.

anecdote time~

My Love Affair with Dave Eggers

2010

CRISS MASS L00T

sometimes

truckin right along

a million tiny feathers

t minus six and counting

booklist -- 8 left!

I'm dying

best dream ever?

secrets secrets

the future's coming soon

for the people who keep telling me I need to vent, here you go:

books

moar books, nano prep

booklist

what I did today:

some things:

reasons today is unproductive:

booklist

reasons I hate /talking/ about literature with opinionated people:

reasons I'm failing miserably at doing homework:

oh my school

booklist

reasons why blogging for class sucks a little bit:

reasons you should never write for a class when you're emotional:

day after.

twitterless and skypless. *sneezes*

minus twitter, minus skype.

pineapple pal

booklist heeeeeeey

end of summer.

twitterless and skypless. sneezes